Pencil Do The Thinking

For This Year

2012-01-15T02:31:00.002+08:00

Resolutions are really secondary. I don't know if I will keep them, but there are fun to make. What is more important is this tradition that I do not want to break. A couple of years back I've always given myself a frame of mind to face the new year.

2010, my last year as a student, I wanted to be brilliant.

2011, my first year working fulltime, I wanted to be brave.

So in 2012, it is going to be a year of possibilities. This year, I want to make my dreams come true.

So yea, dear me a few months down the road, please don't chicken out and please don't settle. You will be tempted, but do not give in. Heck, you're 25 this year and you still have nothing to lose. So go and pull your dreams from the clouds and make it real.

2012 Resolutions

2012-01-15T02:14:00.003+08:00

Wokay, let's recap last year's resolution:

1. Be happy. Despite all the let downs, I was happy.

2. Learn how to make things move. Hell yeah!!

3. Learn how to code (pass if I can make my own website). Fail kao kao.

4. Illustrate. In terms of work, I did a lot. But in terms of developing my existing skills to a higher level, no.

5. Read 50 books in 2011. I lost count. But am certainly didn't.

6. Start and finish my Eason Chan artbook. Didn't start at all.

7. Save money for camera, laptop and holiday. (so not gonna happen, at least not all three at the same time) No camera, no laptop, but I committed to TWO holidays, which I have yet to have the money to go on.

8. Run. Hell yeah!!!

9. Lose fat, be healthy. Came a bit late in the year, but yeah, I did this. At least I started.

10. Be happy. I am.

Come to think of it, I think I did pretty good for last year's resolution. But then again, I merely accidentally achieved most of it. It's not like I remembered these all the while and strive to achieve them. Why even make resolutions if they don't work? New years have this magical ability to make everything feel brand new, as if we could wipe all the bad things off and make a clean slate. For me, new years are about having new hope and dreams. Or rather, renewed chances to make my dreams come true.

Foolish it may be, but I kinda like resolutions, so this is my list for this year:

1. Save half my salary every month. Be frugal. Really stingy! (not possible for Jan, CNY costs a lot of ka-chink)

2. Learn HTML.

3. Go to the gym at least 3 times a week. (yup, I have an effing gym membership)

4. Draw. Draw. Draw.

5. Start a new blog on design.

6. Be more focused in work. Thus leave work at 7pm when possible. (yea rite, of course, whatever)

7. Start my pet project.

8. Be good and practice more patience with a certain someone.

9. Earn more money.

10. Be happy.

If you realise this whole list is basically all about work. I wanna make work something enjoyable again. Away from the office, I want work to be a joy again. Leave work early, and go make art.

From Last Year

2012-01-01T16:26:00.000+08:00

Bad memory of mine these days, I got so used to thinking I had this long list of resolution from last year. But reading back on my past post (first one in 2011), what I wrote was simply this:

Brave new environments.

Brave new people.

Brave new challenges.

Brave tough times.

It was something like a pep talk for myself as I stepped into my first real job as a multimedia designer. Thinking back, I thought this frame of mind that I set myself into was simply brilliant. I don't know if I adhered to these rules consciously or not, but it certainly got me through the year. Rui has this tendency to ask us to sum up the year in three words, I could think of only one very appropriate one: WORK.

Confucious once said, "Do what you love and you need not work a single day." I think it was Confucious. Hah. I thought that was complete bs. Or maybe rather my actions were not exactly to his words. I do not love what I'm doing, but I do love what I can do. This first year of working life got me down more times than I cared to count. I have another 30 years to go, maybe? Oh my.

I have been an awful blogger this year. So much so I didn't post a single thing for the last two months. Sorry 2011, I wasn't able to bid you a proper farewell.

2011-10-26T23:34:00.001+08:00

‎"得一個人竟也不孤單
作伴有我夢我影我身"

Will talk more about this when I have the chance. Hee.

My Mom Blogs

2011-10-23T23:23:00.002+08:00

Omg... my mom is so amazing. And her English's definitely more eloquent than mine:

http://mohbe99-2b-alive.blogspot.com/

Do visit her blog. Oh my, she blogs and I found out about this on Facebook! There's only just one post inside, I hope she continues to write. I know it's stupid, but doesn't it bemuse you sometimes to discover that your mom/dad is really a person, with thoughts and feelings, hopes, dreams, insecurities just like yourself. It's a humbling experience to see my mom through her writings, she's like this stranger who is thinking things that I didn't know she's thinking.

Do you get me? Will you ever think about getting to know your parents? No right? Coz it's like, they are these people who have been there your whole life, so what is there that you didn't know about them? It is here that we have underestimated them.

And nope, so not letting my mom know I blog too. It's... disturbing, okayyyy!

Worse

2011-10-23T23:09:00.001+08:00

HAHAHAHAHA... this new blogger template is so crazy! But I like!

I like how I can now see all the stuff I've written from the beginning of time all displayed in neat squares. Looking back, there were so many memories and boy, do I think highly of myself. But wait! This is not the time for reminiscence. We shall leave that until 2012. Ohohoho~ I can't wait to summarize how this year went, what I did and didn't, and what to look forward to in 2012 (London Olympics, hello!).

I don't know why but there's this constant excitement in me that's so looking forward to the end of the year and new year! I don't have plans, really, I guess I just like looking forward to how everyone's especially jolly towards the end of the year, how warm and happy Christmas makes me feel. I went to the Gardens today and suddenly thought of how they used to play Christmas songs during the season and got happy from the thought.

There was so much negativity in my blog for the past months, or when I chose to blog about anything at all. I never cease to complain and whine about work. Well, 2011's basically that, W. O. R. K. But tonight, I'm in an especially grateful mood, pretty hard to come by, I would say. Tonight, as I sat bathed in the warm glow of my yellow/orangey cheap Tesco lamp, I wanna write. Seeing all my past posts all lumped together inspired me to blog good and proper. Oh, in case you're wondering from the lack of updates here, no, I'm not gonna drop this blog, even if no one reads it anymore, I still need a place to keep me sane. Put your hands up who's reading!!!

...

Fine. Awkward silence you suck.

Right right right, back on track! About being grateful. I was driving home one night, once again at about midnight, the road's empty, music's playing on the radio and I was talking to myself. I reiterated all the stupid that happened, prep talking to myself and suddenly a cliche lighted up, I thought, it could have been worse.

Getting ideas shot down by Boss. It could have been worse. Boss could have been an awful man and not be nice about it at all.

Getting work revised and finally changed into something that's not mine at all. It could have been worse. Boss could have been someone with no design sense and thought Arial's cool, when we all know Arial's just a Helvetica-wannabe.

Getting my confidence and self-esteem trampled on. It could have been worse. It could have been all just for spite instead of for work.

The past month left me feeling really battered and worn out. Sometimes I didn't know what I was doing here. I felt so insufficient. Opportunities were aplenty but I simply didn't have the ability to seize them.

And it could all have been worse. I could have been in a place where designers are not valued, merely machines that do design and not allowed to think. I could have been in a place so safe, so secure, that I'll never make any mistakes because there are simply no opportunities to make them, which also by default means no opportunities to succeed.

But luckily, I am here. Still here.

I am not saying this place is the perfect place for me. But it could have been worse.

Edit 5 minutes later: The first paragraph won't make sense anymore coz I switched the template back to the old one. I just realised in the new template, it has all these +1, tweet and FB like nonsense. I'm sure there's a way to take them away but I don't have the leisure to do it now, so back to the old comfortable, PRIVATE template for me. Eheh. Oops.

2011-09-25T21:57:00.001+08:00

I wanna burrow my head in the sand and go back in time. But no, I'm an adult now, and adults don't run away. Adults face dragons head on and stick out their tongues and fake bravado.

Fuck this shit.

And adults are allowed to spew profanities. Hah.

Snailmailing

2011-09-19T02:22:00.001+08:00

I remember when I was a kid, how excited I'll get when there's a letter in the mailbox addressed to me. Even today, in the era of technology and Facebook, I still find magic in hand written postcards and letters. However I might be more prone now to receiving summons than birthday cards.

This post is a tutorial on how to make kids happy. I bought some really cute letters, envelopes and stickers to send back home for the kids. Each letter contained different simple messages. For the boy that has yet to learn reading, I drew. I've also included stickers into each of the envelopes so that when they are opened, the stickers will fall out like colourful confetti.

It makes me happy to make them happy. Hopefully these images will make you happy too. :)

From the phone. The blogger app.

2011-09-15T22:41:00.001+08:00

Is it better to feel anger, let everything that hurts lacerates your pride, in a way unleashing all the negativities. Strong waves of emotion wash away feelings, leaving one feel cleansed, empty, and blissful, maybe.

Or is it better to control yourself and feel indifferent, guard your heart and put on your best poker face. Feeling indifferent is less tiring, less dramatic. It's like giving up, throwing in the towel. Giving up to save yourself.

I don't know. All I'm thinking is, can this month be over already?

A Break

2011-08-26T18:07:00.002+08:00

6.07 pm. I'm going home soon after a four months absence. I have no words to describe how much I miss home. Today's an awesome day! All of a sudden I have $$$ rained on me; claims, petrol money, etc. Suddenly I've got all these petty cash to cover my expenses back home. Alrighty!

May I say how turbulent August was/is? So many things happened that once again prompted me to think about my goals and plans. May I just have one day back home, go chill at the beach and just contemplate? You know, like an old man looking out at the sea thinking about the past, I wanna sit there and look and design my future.

Oooo... have you ever heard of an amazing deal such as this: one day leave in exchange for a 9-days break!

My blog has been in such abandonment. I couldn't even manage more than a couple of post a month. I don't have that many things to say about myself anymore. It's work, work and work. Ahh.

DUO

2011-08-14T23:06:00.003+08:00

I love Eason Chan. I think this is the first thing I tend to let people know about myself... like an ice-breaker of sorts. However, I'm not that sort of fan-girl that scream at the sight of him nor do I memorise his birthday or hates his wife. I liked him many many years back. Maybe when I was in Form2? I just happened to find out that he is the singer to this song I liked very much, 幸福摩天轮, and that was it. His album was the first original that I bought, I cried and laughed to his songs. As I grew up, I looked upon him as more than a pop idol. I was inspired by his attitude and passion in life. My perception of life has largely been influenced by him. Nothing too complicated, simply living life and enjoy the moment. Inspired by him, I do the things I love and dared to pursue impossible dreams.

Hah! A rather lengthy opening but I just love to share about why he's so great to me.

Anyways, he was in Malaysia for the DUO world tour concert. Needless to say, I was there. What was so different this time was I was there in all parts, from the time he was in Sg Wang to promote the concert, to the concert, and finally to a small gathering post-concert.

I remembered the first time I saw him, real-life, very up close. I was so giddy with happiness that I shook his hands and said something encouraging to him. This time around for his autograph session in Sg Wang, it was rather cool. There were a lot of fans, the MC of the event was asking the fans to speed things up so that everyone could get an autograph, and if possible, just let Eason sign and not even shake his hand. However, Eason insisted in shaking everyone's hands, look them in the eyes, and said "Thank you." I was happy from that session, but far from feeling my feet of the ground like the first time. I thought to myself, "Die! Is my love for him fading?!" Darn... so drama.

Gawd... this post is getting so lengthy and I am running out of steam to write it. Bah. Let's just get to the pics.

The concert this time around, truthfully, was not the best. His songs and voice, as usual, was great. However he didn't seem to be really feeling it that night. His encores were usually very long, but he only encored five songs that night, so the concert ended earlier than expected. Gah, and he sang some mandaring songs that I wasn't familiar with. There were so many songs from his DUO album that I was looking forward to hearing but wasn't sung.

I've been to his concert three times prior, the last two times with 41. Unfortunately, she couldn't make it last minute. Umph. I was really disappointed that she couldn't make it, I thought we can have the chance to catch up on each other's life and to enjoy the concert together. But nevermind. There'll be more opportunities in the future, right, LIMA RATUS EMPAT PULUH SATU?!

What made the concert this time really amazing was the post-concert gathering in Hilton KL. Do you know that I am a paying member of Eason Chan's official Malaysia fan club? RM30 lifetime membership *peace*

Anyways, it was arranged for the official fans to have this small gathering post-concert with Eason. On the way to Hilton KL, I was with my colleague who's also a fan (we were at the concert together), we got lost so many times! I hate KL roads. We missed an exit and had to make so many rounds to the point where I gave up in trying to find our way to Hilton. I was sooo dejected. I don't know why, maybe luck was with us, we managed to langgar our way to Hilton, and to the gathering!

While waiting for Eason to come into the room. Mann... we both looked asleep on our feet.

Even before he came into the room, I didn't dare believe that this is going to happen. It's like a dream come true!

When he finally made his appearance, I thought, "He looks small." I guess I was so used to seeing him on screen, on stage, he seemed like a celebrity, out of my reach. But now that we were in the same room, he's like a normal guy, in jeans and T, looking really tired but still smiling at us, because he's awesome like that.

I managed to snap a few pics on my iPhone before putting it away and drinking in the sight of him. People clamored around him, me included, and we stood there listening to him talk. Some asked him questions, which he patiently answered. He was there. Just there. Talking, joking, smiling, laughing. My gawd. I was in the same room with Eason Chan as if I knew him personally.

Before leaving, he took the opportunity to shake every of our hands. He shook my hand, look me in the eye, and said "Thank you." I was stunned. So stunned. He looked so tired but his eyes were so alive and my gawdddd.... he looked so good! I swear I'll never say he looks ugly again.

The whole session lasted about 20 minutes. His assistants were actually rushing us to cut it short and waiting to escort him away. Eason might be unaware because he wouldn't stop talking! He would talk talk talk and slowly back out of the room, then suddenly come back in just to finish what he started. Then he went out again, then come back in to say another thing.

After the whole thing ended, I was just so happy.

This pic is now my iPhone lock screen wallpaper. Everytime I see this I couldn't help but smile. Eason Chan, I love you, please don't die.

Hee. Ta!

2011-08-06T08:04:00.003+08:00

So like, a really quick one.

I'll be going to Eason Chan's DUO concert tonight! Amazing song list! I don't wish to jinx this, but might my fondest wish come true tonight? If it does, I'll be sure to blog about it here.

Have a good weekend yourself, peeps!

2011-06-12T00:59:00.002+08:00

If I have money, I will:

1. Shop in Singapore. Get myself new jeans, new dresses, new tops and nice Ts.

2. Take my car to a carwash.

3. Buy a mattress.

4. Buy an iPhone casing.

5. Buy books from Bookxcess.

6. Screw it. Buy books from Borders.

7. Buy a headphone.

8. Drive home every two weeks.

9. Join a gym.

10. Go for facials.

11. Go Jaya Grocer and buy every kind of imported ice cream.

You know what. I really don't know what I will do if I really have money. Umm.

Ciak Pa Liao

2011-06-05T02:28:00.003+08:00

Yay~ first home video. The girls were reenacting a scene from "Money Not Enough 2" I think, or some Singaporean movie. They watched the clip countless times on Youtube and could act out on a whim.

I missed my niece's first birthday yesterday. Another family thing I missed. Hmph.

24

2011-06-05T01:34:00.001+08:00

24 is just a number, can?

No.

First

2011-05-31T23:09:00.002+08:00

After working for approximately five months (omaigawd, approaching half a year!!), I finally did what I personally think is a milestone in my career. Okay, this is where my self-conscious mode kicks in, "It's not really that nice, in fact given more time I think I can do better, and heck I'm not trying to show off!!"

BUT. I'm gonna be all professional and calmly present to you a game which I designed from beginning till the end. When I say design, I mean visually, from the characters design to the game interfaces. Programming and animation credits go to my insanely talented colleagues.

Timeline for this was tight, as was every single brief that came through our door. Unlike back in uni when we had months to work on a project, this was a luxury unseen in the working world. Due to timing and circumstances, I found myself strapped with the design for this game. Had it not for the way things happened, I might not have this awesome responsibility of working on this on my own. The first project where I can say it's my design.

There are still so much that I need to learn, sometimes I don't know where to start. But getting thrown into the deep end of the pool is good sometimes, you're forced to swim, no matter.

So do go to (http://bit.ly/share-itz) to play the game on Facebook! Play together with a friend and you might just stand a chance to win iPads and some amazing prizes!

The W Word

2011-05-22T22:31:00.003+08:00

Work can kill the passion of what you are doing if you're not careful.

It's the repetition and ritual. Doing the same things over and over again, to a point when I'm really tired and I'll question myself, "What am I doing here?"

I'm telling myself it's still worth it.

I listened to this radio segment and the deejay was talking on the topic of leading the kind of life you want. There was this one part I couldn't help but agree. Despite all the fall backs, disappointments and doubts one might encounter, it's important to ask yourself every now and then, if whatever you're doing is leading you to the life you want.

Really, I don't know what kind of life I want. Not concretely anyways, does anyone?

All I know is if work still brings a thrill to me when I'm beat and tired, it's okay, I'm still on the right track.

Work. Sounds so much like an obligation, a responsibility. Something everyone crawls out of bed in the morning for. It's what makes Monday blue. It's what people trade their soul and passion for in exchange for bread on the table (gawd... so melodramatic).

One of my friends from secondary school just got engaged. She blogged about the whole proposal and I couldn't help but feel so touched and envious at the same time. It was the most perfect and wonderful proposal I've heard of. It's not right to compare lives, of course, but I can't help but let one of those moments creep up on me and ponder.

Surely life is supposed to be more than just work?

Fatttt Dragoon

2011-04-17T02:30:00.000+08:00

Food for the soul~ Yay!

Of 24 Candles and New Toy

2011-04-16T18:53:00.002+08:00

Guess how I celebrated my birthday?

Haha... this is a post long past due. Anyhow, I still want to archive it for it's one of the good ones I've had.

For my birthday this year, I wasn't expecting any celebration. I was away from family and also in a new environment. Another thing, I took down my birthday from Facebook, somehow recently birthday reminders from Facebook be it mine or others seemed so insincere.

It's rather awesome coz surprises occurred one after another. Firstly, my new housemates surprised me with a cake when I least expected it, two days before my birthday. They found out the date from my IC, when I gave them a copy for house renting documentation purposes. Truly, I hardly know them that well and yet they went out of their way to make me feel special. Thank you guys!

Then on the real day itself, people from office burst into a brainstorming session and started singing a birthday song for me. Whoa... I felt rather awkward and embarrassed to be the center of attention, but on the other hand rather pleased too. Thank you IFians! (none of them will be reading this, I hope)

I actually spent my birthday slaving away in the company. There was some work to rush and I didn't leave until about ten at night. Once back in my room, I bathed and settled in front of my comp to work on the stuff I brought back. Then all of a sudden, a wave of excited human bodies flung themselves through my room door, singing out of tune birthday song and bringing along a Baskin Robbins cake. Omg... the bodohs of #16 didn't forget about me. Feeling rather stupid myself for being so touched by this.

So all of us, new and old housemates, sat down in the empty leaving room and dug away happily at the ice cream cake. There was so much chatter, everybody's trying to catch up with one another. I miss those bodohs a lot. It felt great to poke fun at them and be laughed at too.

I was supposed to blow at candles and make wishes. But I didn't make a single wish on any of the three cakes. I was happy enough, I didn't need wishes then.

Mom and bro gave me cash to buy myself something. So I bought this! Eason Chan's newest EP and also a brand new Jumbo sketch book plus some fine liners. I wanna drawwww....

Bodohs of #16 with Stella and Tham. Awesome Eichi taking the pic for us. Thank you guys, for making my 24th birthday amazing!

And ohohoho~ on a more recent note, I bought myself a brand new phone. This is bought with my own hard-earned money. Not a single cent from my mom and all that stuff. ALL MINE. New Toy. New Love.

And I'm finally confirmed in my company. I'm a real working adult now. Life is good. =)

First Threadless Tee

2011-04-10T00:28:00.002+08:00

This is my first design post in a while. Partly new, partly recycled.

Yo!! This is my first time submitting a design for Threadless! If you've kept an eye on my blog, you'll recognise this from my global warming poster. Well, I thought it looks kinda nice on a tee, so why let it go to waste.

Support me please! I need people to help me vote on this design. But you'll need a Threadless account first, I think. So if you have the time, sign up for an account, and vote for me! There are a lot of other nice designs there, you'll might find something you like, so the account won't go to waste (I guess).

All votes appreciated! Vote high!

ps: Do YOU think this design works on a tee? If not, why? Thank you thank you!

Vote here: http://www.threadless.com/submission/334483/Global_Warning

2011-04-09T18:52:00.002+08:00

The impulse was too good to be true anyway. =(

Not today, not tomorrow, but one day.

To Appraise

2011-04-07T00:13:00.003+08:00

It has been three months from my first day of work. I had my probationary appraisal done and was a bag of nerves before it. I wasn't really confident if I performed well and at the same time I was very eager to know what they think of me.

At first, the group head did the appraisal with me. I guess the questions were pretty standard where I was asked a lot of questions about my experience with the company, how I think I performed and where I think I can improve. It was more like a sharing session where he got to know about my experience and I can get some of my questions answered.

After that first session I was suddenly called again to have a talk with my direct superior. It felt a little out of the blue. He sat me down in the chill room and invited me to share about my thoughts. We had a brief talk about me, him and the company. It was awesome in a way coz after coming out from the room, I was pumped to do better for myself.

All this sharing got me thinking about what I want to do for the rest of the year. A quarter of the year has passed and I am not really quite near to achieving my goals. I know 2011 is going to be hard. This is not a year to talk about reaching high and be ambitious. This year is about me sharpening my technical skills and learn as much as I can from the really great people around me.

I love working for several reasons. The best of all was being given real responsibilities, real work. It bemused me sometimes when they will just throw a job at me regardless of whether or not I know how to do it. From here, I can either do very poorly or do fine, learning along the way. It's all really cool. Another reason I like where I am right now is the people. Clearly they are good in what they do. So I think I am in an enviable position where I get the opportunity to work closely with them.

During the appraisal, Mr. Direct Superior asked me what is it that I love. Do I love design? Where does my passion lie? What is it exactly that I want?

These are questions that stumped me. I can tell you I like design. Very much. I happen to think I am of the lucky few in this world where my day job is actually my passion. Graphic design doesn't pay well for fresh grads. I am willing to endure this for I know pay will get better if only I am willing to start (I hope).

However, I have come to realise that only talking about how much I like something are merely words. If really I am passionate about something, I will be willing to sit down and just work at it. Hack hours and hours away in honing my skills. I have always believed that passion triumphs talent. But I question how passionate am I really in this. Surely where I am standing right now doesn't show what I have been saying all these while.

I cannot see where I will be in a few years' time. But I can dream of that destination. Nothing is impossible if only I start. Stop looking around and concentrate on myself.

Remaining three quarters of 2011. I am committing myself to three things:

1. Know Flash

2. Know Web

3. Illustrate

To be where I want to be, I will need to begin. So when I question myself again, I will know the answer.

First Quarter

2011-04-06T23:57:00.003+08:00

Quarter of the year has passed, how have you lived yours?

I made some resolutions beginning of the year, surprisingly I did make some progress.

1. Be happy.

I am content with what I have right now. Starting to fall into the routine of a working adult and getting used to the company. So yea, am good.

2. Learn how to make things move.

I know Flash! I've learnt some basic animation skills in Flash, thanks to doing a lot of banners at work. Though what I know is nothing to shout about, I do think it's an accomplishment for myself.

3&4. Learn how to code and illustrate.

Didn't happen.

5. Read 50 books in 2011

It's only March and I've hit 13 books. Progress is on track.

6. Start and finish my Eason Chan Artbook.

Didn't happen.

7. Save money for camera, laptop and holiday.

Didn't happen. However, I've set a short term goal for myself. In two months, if I'm still gung-ho about it, I'll go and get it.

8. Run.

Semi-happened. Just need to keep it up.

9. Lose fat, be healthy.

I've been eating a lot of salad lately. However, am addicted to junk again. So hard to lose the habit.

10. Be happy.

I really am.

2011-03-31T16:40:00.001+08:00

Dear Blog,

You are getting a revamp this weekend. It's high time.

oklaa... so maybe just change header image and background colour.

2011-03-26T23:40:00.002+08:00

I've worked for three months since Jan but it's only today that I got a full month's pay for the first time! Two days were cut from my pay in Jan coz I started work on the 3rd. Feb was coz I took 1 1/2 days unpaid leaves for CNY. Then in March, finally, my first full month pay! Screw EPF cutting off a chunk!

I'm only blogging about this here coz I don't want my boss to read this on FB. If I were to post on Twitter, it'll be too much to type. So yea.

Looking forward to May when Rui will be down again and when I'll make another trip back home. =D

The Late Post

2011-03-22T20:06:00.002+08:00

When my niece was five, I sent her a birthday card by post while I was in KL. The timing was off when I got back home but the mail has yet to arrive. When the post arrived, my niece was ecstatic thinking it came from her kindy friend. We didn't have the heart to burst her bubble. Receiving mail from an aunt who's already there with her kinda defeats the purpose of sending the card in the first place. It always makes me happy to make my little nieces and nephew happy. It's easy. Just do anything I wish could happen when I was a kid myself.

Grownups

2011-03-21T16:06:00.001+08:00

Love this. Live this. =)

The Perfect Sunday

2011-03-20T23:05:00.002+08:00

Finally there's internet in my new place and also finally, being able to blog in my own time, in complete privacy.

The perfect Sunday:

Waking up on my own accord and not due to the alarm.

Leisurely shopped for groceries and not having to worry about buying fresh produce coz there's a new fridge in the house.

Cooked lunch albeit failed pasta sauce.

It rained cats and dogs and for once, I am indoors, looking out at the congested Kota Damansara traffic and thinking, "Luckily I didn't go out."

Huddled under my cozy comforter on a gloomy rainy afternoon.

Finished a book "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" over dinner. I finished half of the book in one day. The first half was slowly read over the span of two weeks, often at night when I was too tired to manage more than a chapter.

Restored my iPod and it now has 24GB worth of songs in it.

Today was good. Totally ready for tomorrow.

Tralalala~

2011-02-18T21:50:00.002+08:00

Haiyaaaaakkkkk!!!!

Am forcing in a useless post just for the month of Feb. This blog has been going through a dry spell for two reasons. One, I'm working most of week now, there's really nothing much that happens which is not work. Two, there isn't any internet in my new place yet. Therefore can't blog for leisure.

This post is crafted in the office while waiting for files to be uploaded. Working life gives a whole new meaning to weekends!

Life has been productive, busy and nerve-wrecking. I like it. For every moment that I am busy, I am learning how to like my work and also to rant about how I don't get to go home. All rants aside, I kinda enjoy these late hours. Sometimes there is too much fear and anxiety, I think I pressure myself too much. But at the end of the day, no matter how convinced I am of being screwed, things turn out well. Not perfect, well is good enough.

The parking at my new place sucks big time! There is often no more parking when it gets too late. Plus, people there double park everywhere, most of them not having the decency to at least leave a name card or contact number on their dashboard so that they can be called to move their cars if needed. What's worse about this is that the indoor parking area actually has cement water leaking from the ceiling. I parked my car there last night and my car was splattered with this water and has some hardened white stains on it. Gahh... I hope it can be washed off.

Umphhh... miss randomly posting random nothings.

My zodiac says that March is gonna be a killer month. Conflicts and a lot of work happening. Hah! Come what may la.

Ta!

Bodohs of #16

2011-01-29T23:30:00.002+08:00

It's now time to move away from this safe haven called SK #16, a place I've lived for the past year, fabulously flaunting the idea of living freely and brilliantly as a final year student. Of my four years in LUCT, it was the fourth year that truly defined my whole university experience. Through my awesome house mates, I had a wonderful time and got to be myself, crazy, loud, lame joker and most of the time without sense. I used to tell my best friends back home, when I leave uni, there won't be any people that I will miss. It wasn't that people weren't nice, it's just that no one really left a mark.

But my experience with the crazy bunch in #16 enabled me to take back those words. Leaving this house is easy, it's separating from these people that is hard.

Dear Jet, excuse my ease with and constant poking fun at you. It was all in good humour, right?

Dear Ting Ting, it was destressing just barging into your room and kacau you for no good reasons. Thank you for putting up with me.

Dear Shiau Fong, I have never met anyone that has yet to rival you when it comes to being nice. Don't be so nice can or not??? But then again, never change, you're great the way you are!

Lastly, my 最佳損友, Ms 541. I can finally be rid of your awful influence! And yet, I'll miss you the most. Thank you for laughing with me all these while.

We will all be working now, going our separate ways, meeting new house mates. I really don't know how long this friendship will last. Just a while ago, while packing, I threw away a musical ceramic thing from some really good friends couple of years back. Back then, it felt like we could say anything to each other. And now, I could just throw away the present without the slightest guilt, maybe just a tinge of regret of what could have been.

No one can tell what is to become of friendships years down the road. All I can say now is, come what may, it has been grand. Thank you, bodohs of #16!

2011-01-23T22:50:00.001+08:00

I am gonna live goddammit!! If I'm gonna die, I'll die by own hands, thankyouverymuch! So yea, no more chicken shit. I am gonna live and be happy. Screw it all. Tsk.

I Can't Wait to...

2011-01-20T22:39:00.003+08:00

1. Be reunited with my car.

2. Get my first pay.

3. Go home for Chinese New Year.

Work's swell, but I'd love to have the holiday I denied myself. Why-o-why?

2011-01-16T15:54:00.001+08:00

I think I need to revamp this space. Um.

11.1.11 Resolutions

2011-01-11T00:38:00.002+08:00

Is it too late for new year resolutions? What the hell, don't think I'll succeed, but heck, what the hell.

1. Be happy.

2. Learn how to make things move.

3. Learn how to code (pass if I can make my own website).

4. Illustrate.

5. Read 50 books in 2011.

6. Start and finish my Eason Chan artbook.

7. Save money for camera, laptop and holiday. (so not gonna happen, at least not all three at the same time)

8. Run.

9. Lose fat, be healthy.

10. Be happy.

Tsk. I used to make lists like this. Never worked. O well. I'll at least try.

What the Modern Woman Wants...

2011-01-09T22:32:00.003+08:00

Got this in the email today from Mom. A very good read. Puts the mind into perspective when it gets too preoccupied with just materials.

***

What the Modern Woman Wants...
By Amanda Chong Wei-Zhen

The old woman sat in the backseat of the magenta convertible as it
careened down the highway, clutching tightly to the plastic bag on her lap,
afraid it may be kidnapped by the wind. She was not used to such speed, with
trembling hands she pulled the seat belt tighter but was careful not to touch
the patent leather seats with her callused fingers, her daughter had warned
her not to dirty it, 'Fingerprints show very clearly on white, Ma.'

Her daughter, Bee Choo, was driving and talking on her sleek silver
mobile phone using big words the old woman could barely understand.
'Finance', 'Liquidation', 'Assets', 'Investments'... Her voice was crisp and
important and had an unfamiliar lilt to it.

Her Bee Choo sounded like one of those foreign girls on television.
She was speaking in an American accent.
The old lady clucked her tongue in disapproval...... 'I absolutely
cannot have this. We have to sell!' Her daughter exclaimed agitatedly as
she stepped on the accelerator; her perfectly manicured fingernails gripping
onto the steering wheel in irritation.

'I can't DEAL with this anymore!' she yelled as she clicked the
phone shut and hurled it angrily toward the backseat.. The mobile phone hit
the old woman on the forehead and nestled soundlessly into her lap. She
calmly picked it up and handed it to her daughter..

'Sorry, Ma,' she said, losing the American pretence and switching
to Mandarin. 'I have a big client in America . There have been a lot of
problems.'

The old lady nodded knowingly. Her daughter was big and
important.

Bee Choo stared at her mother from the rear view window, wondering
what she was thinking. Her mother's wrinkled countenance always carried the
same cryptic look. The phone began to ring again, an artificially cheerful
digital tune, which broke the awkward silence.

'Hello, Beatrice! Yes, this is Elaine.' Elaine. The old woman
cringed. I didn't name her Elaine. She remembered her daughter telling
her, how an English name was very important for 'networking', Chinese ones
being easily forgotten.

'Oh no, I can't see you for lunch today. I have to take the
ancient relic to the temple for her weird daily prayer ritual.'
Ancient Relic. The old woman understood perfectly it was
referring to her. Her daughter always assumed that her mother's silence
meant she did not comprehend.

'Yes, I know! My car seats will be reeking of joss sticks!' The
old woman pursed her lips tightly, her hands gripping her plastic bag in
defence.

The car curved smoothly into the temple courtyard. It looked
almost garish next to the dull sheen of the ageing temple's roof. The old
woman got out of the back seat, and made her unhurried way to the main hall.
Her daughter stepped out of the car in her business suit and
stilettos and reapplied her lipstick as she made her brisk way to her mother's
side.

'Ma, I'll wait outside.. I have an important phone call to make,'
she said, not bothering to hide her disgust at the pungent fumes of incense.
The old lady hobbled into the temple hall and lit a joss stick, she
knelt down solemnly and whispered her now familiar daily prayer to the Gods.
Thank you God of the Sky, you have given my daughter luck all these
years. Everything I prayed for, you have given her. She has everything a
young woman in this world could possibly want. She has a big house with a
swimming pool, a maid to help her, as she is too clumsy to sew or cook. Her
love life has been blessed; she is engaged to a rich and handsome angmoh man.
Her company is now the top financial firm and even men listen to what she
says... She lives the perfect life. You have given her everything except
happiness. I ask that the gods be merciful to her even if she has lost her
roots while reaping the harvest of success.

What you see is not true, she is a filial daughter to me. She
gives me a room in her big house and provides well for me. She is rude to me
only because I affect her happiness.. A young woman does not want to be
hindered by her old mother. It is my fault.

The old lady prayed so hard that tears welled up in her eyes.
Finally, with her head bowed in reverence she planted the half-burnt joss
stick into an urn of smoldering ashes.

She bowed once more. The old woman had been praying for her
daughter for thirty-two years. When her stomach was round like a melon, she
came to the temple and prayed that it was a son.
Then the time was ripe and the baby slipped out of her womb,
bawling and adorable with fat thighs and pink cheeks, but unmistakably, a
girl. Her husband had ticked and punched her for producing a useless baby
who could not work or carry the family name.

Still, the woman returned to the temple with her new-born girl tied
to her waist in a sarong and prayed that her daughter would grow up and have
everything she ever wanted.

Her husband left her and she prayed that her daughter would never
have to depend on a man. She prayed every day that her daughter would be a
great woman, the woman that she, meek and uneducated, could never become. A
woman with nengkan; the ability to do anything she set her mind to. A woman
who commanded respect in the hearts of men. When she opened her mouth to
speak, precious pearls would fall out and men would listen. She will not be
like me, the woman prayed as she watched her daughter grow up and drift away
from her, speaking a language she scarcely understood..

She watched her daughter transform from a quiet girl to one who
openly defied her, calling her laotu, old fashioned.... She wanted her
mother to be 'modern', a word so new there was no Chinese word for it.
Now her daughter was too clever for her and the old woman wondered
why she had prayed like that. The Gods had been faithful to her persistent
prayer, but the wealth and success that poured forth so richly had buried the
girl's roots and now she stood faceless with no identity, bound to the soil of
her ancestors by only a string of origami banknotes.

Her daughter had forgotten her mother's value. Her wants were so
ephemeral, that of a modern woman. Power, wealth, access to the best fashion
boutiques and yet her daughter had not found true happiness.
The old woman knew that you could find happiness with much less.
When her daughter left the earth, everything she had would count for
nothing. People would look to her legacy and say that she was a great woman
but she would be forgotten once the wind blows over, like the ashes of burnt
paper convertibles and mansions.

The old woman wished she could go back and erase all her big hopes
and prayers for her daughter now that she had looked out of the temple gates.
She saw her daughter speaking on the phone, her brow furrowed with anger and
worry. Being at the top is not good, the woman thought, there is only one
way to go from there – down.

The old woman carefully unfolded the plastic bag and spread out a
packet of beehoon in front of the altar. Her daughter often mocked her for
worshipping porcelain Gods. How could she pray to them so faithfully and
expect pieces of ceramic to fly to her aid? But her daughter had her own
gods too, idols of wealth, success and power that she enslaved to and
worshipped every day of her life.

Every day was a quest for the idols, and the idols she worshipped
counted for nothing in eternity. All the wants her daughter had would slowly
suck the life out of her and leave her, an empty souless shell at the altar.
The old woman watched the joss stick. The dull heat had left a
teetering grey stem that was on the danger of collapsing.

Modern woman nowadays, the old lady signed in resignation, as she
bowed to the east bone final time to end her ritual. Modern woman nowadays
want so much that they lose their souls and wonder whey they cannot find it.
Her joss stick disintegrated into a soft grey powder. She met her
daughter outside the temple, the same look of worry and frustration was etched
on her daughter's face.

An empty expression, as if she was ploughing through the soil of
her wants looking for the one thing that would sown the seeds of happiness.
They climbed into the convertible in silence and her daughter drove
along the highway, this time not to fast as she had done before.
‘Ma,’ Bee Choo finally said. "I don't know how to put this.
Mark and I have been talking about it and we plan to move out of the big
house. The property market is good now, and we managed to get a buyer
willing to pay us seven million for it. We decided we'd prefer a cosier
penthouse apartment instead. We found a perfect one in Orchard Road .. Once
we move into our apartment, we plan to get rid of the maid, so we can have
more space to ourselves....."

The old woman nodded knowingly. Bee Choo swallowed hard. "We'd
get someone to come in to do the housework and we can eat out – but once the
maid is gone, there won't be anyone to look after you. You will be awfully
lonely at home and, besides that the apartment is rather small. There won't
be space. We thought about it for a long time, and we decided the best thing
for you is if you moved to a Home. There's one near Hougang – it's a
Christian home and a very nice one."

The old woman did not raise an eyebrow. I"ve been there, the
matron is willing to take you in. It's beautiful with gardens and lots of
old people to keep you company! Hardly have time for you, you'd be happier
there." "You'd be happier there, really." her daughter repeated as if to
affirm herself.

This time the old woman had no plastic bag of food offering to
cling tightly to, she bit her lip and fastened her seat belt, as if it would
protect her from a daughter who did not want her anymore. She sunk deep into
the leather seat, letting her shoulders sag and her fingers trace the white
seat.

Ma, her daughter asked, searching the rear view window for her
mother. "Is everything okay?

What had to be done, had to be done. "Yes" she said firmly,
louder than she intended, 'if it will make you happy,' she added more
quietly..

‘It's for you, Ma! You will be happier there. You can move
there tomorrow, I already got the maid to pack your things.' Elaine said
triumphantly, mentally ticking yet another item off her agenda.
'I knew everything would be fine.' Elaine smiled widely; she felt
liberated. Perhaps getting rid of her mother would make her happier... She
had thought about it. It seemed the only hindrance in her pursuit of
happiness. She was happy now. She had everything a modern woman ever
wanted; money, status, career, love, power and now freedom without her mother
and her old-fashioned ways to weigh her down......

Yes she was free. Her phone butted urgently, she picked it up and
read the message, still beaming from ear to ear. "Stock 10% increase."
Yes, things were definitely beginning to look up for her and while
searching for the meaning of life in the luminance of her hand phone screen,
the old woman in the backseat became invisible and she did not see her in
tears.

2011-01-03T00:33:00.001+08:00

I have a dream. I will not forget.

For 2011

2011-01-02T21:14:00.003+08:00

Let's just say I failed rather brilliantly in keeping my 2010 resolution. Nevermind what it was now, thing is, I never stood by it. Upheld it for about two months, then no more. Life's too busy laa! Right.

For a while there I didn't feel like making any new resolutions for the new year. But then it struck me that it's not the resolution that matters (eg eat healthily, do not procrastinate, smile more etc) but rather the kind of attitude and frame of mind I am going to set myself into for the rest of the year.

I didn't fulfill my 2010 resolution which was, alright, commit myself to a design a day. However, I think I have lived the spirit of 2010, which was to go all out and simply be brilliant.

2011 shall mark the first year of me working as a professional designer. No more student designer bs. I am trying to get myself past pondering what I didn't get to do and focus instead on what I am going to do. This simple task has the magical ability to transform regrets and fear into anticipation and excitement.

For 2011, I am going to be brave.

Brave new environments.

Brave new people.

Brave new challenges.

Brave tough times.

Come what may, I will be brave!

I love what Rui seemed to be saying a lot these days: It will get better. I don't think 2011 will be easy but heck, it will be good. I will make it good.

Goodbye 2010

2010-12-31T01:46:00.002+08:00

"2010 is going to be brilliant!"

And it was. In fact, it was over just a bit too quickly. I have never faced an end of the year with such trepidation.

2011 looks so foreign. Just look at the formation of the numbers. So odd. So off. I try to imagine the new year but there's nothing there. I don't know what to expect. Anyways, I'll leave saying hello to this stranger for the next post. This is about saying goodbye.

Triumphs!
I was a happier person. I was fortunate enouh to have housemates in my last year of uni that not only brings put the wacko in me but have the idiotic streak in themselves to play along with me.
Being happy also makes me more receptive towards people around me. I have made friends from strangers.
I poured my sweat and blood into design.
As best as I could, I have kept procrastination to a bare minimum.
Climbed the highest peak in Malaysia.
Made mom so proud she cried.
Spent more quality time with family.
Spent more time than I would have imagined with the two stooges.
Truly living the final year of my life as a student to the fullest.

Failures.
Thought of only myself when it was really about others.
Wasn't able to execute all my ideas due to unseemly time management.
Didn't save a single cent.
Lost a wallet.
Let a friend slip away, knowingly, purposefully.
Giving up without a fight.

This time last year I was with hf and Rui in Singapore. I was looking forward to new year with anticipation. Oh, and I was nursing a heart ache too.

This time this year I am home with family, will be counting down to the new year with them for the first time in years. I have completed a journey rather brilliantly. Ahh... 2011. I don't know what to make of you yet.

Happy new year dear readers!

Ta Peeps!

2010-12-06T21:29:00.003+08:00

Gonna pack up soon and enjoy a leisure pre-dawn drive back home. I guess this really puts a full stop on things. Things have gotten sorta complicated as of late. I need a breather away from all this. I need time of my own to decide what is it that I want to do. Time to be away. Time to just enjoy being with me. And of course, with family too.

No one told me when I left home four years ago, it will be permanent. (more on this when I'm in a more emo-ish mood)

Ta..

Last Days of Semester 8

2010-12-05T10:45:00.003+08:00

I did plan to show progress on the things I did for the final exhibition. But alas, I finished all advertising executions, portfolio book and promo items all in two weeks, with a major part of them all in the final week. There was simply no time to blog about anything. However, I did manage to snap some work in progress.

In the end I managed to pull off a port book, some coaster drawings, a CD sleeve and some stickers. Nothing fancy, but they did the work.

It was crazy. The exhibition. We weren't prepared at all for the rush that was gonna compel us. It was good fun going through all that with my classmates. At moments like these, you'll come to appreciate those people that you can turn to with a request and they'll just do it for you, no questions asked.

For my own part in the exhibition, I was quite disappointed with myself, for not being able to pull off the things I had in my head for the whole semester. For everything that I displayed during the exhibition, they were the bare minimum of what I had in mind. There was this trepidation in me, for I have asked a lot of people to come. My mom, all my closest friends. But then again, it was also because they are people closest to me that I didn't mind showing them my work. They'll understand.

Wokay... so my work wasn't that bad. Just, not, great. Hah.

I love my mom for being there. I seriously don't care a fig for convocation. Having her here for my exhibition was all I could asked for. When she was done perusing everything, I asked her what she thought, about my work and all. She was like "What is there to say? Aiya..." MOM!!! *facepalm*

Oooo... she got herself a new iTouch. One of the reasons I wanna go home. To play with this new gadget~!

And of course, nothing will be the same without these two crazies. Through thick and thin! Rui came all the way from Singapore for this. I was a bit sorry coz there really wasn't much to see on my side. All. The. Way. From. Singapore. But but but... she had to come!! She's OBLIGATED to come. Bah. Don't care. Thanks Rui!!

And Hooi Fong, for many times our crazy antics had her sacrificing sleeping time when she had to work the next day. Aih. So sorry. But but but... anticipate more of these in the future. Hahahah~

And not to forget, nutty Georgians on the move. Thank you, Chia Li, Chia Yinn, Evelyn, Kar Yee and Yueh Yih. Oh... and my cousin sis, Tres! Some came all the way from Penang just for this. And once again, I couldn't help but wish things were better. But at least you guys got some free cake from Fragments!

And o yeah... Tham, 41 and I attended the Kancil Awards Night on last Friday. We WON!! Merits and a bronze. My so-called one and only achievement to mark the end of my student life. I appreciated the night for the dinner we had on our own after leaving the awards. Just teasing and talking about random nothings. Thank you Tham and 41, you guys were fantastic team mates. I couldn't ask for anything better!

Woohoo~ I love my boots. Gotta get myself a new pair though. It's appearing too often in all my formal photos. Hahaha~

And on the last day of exhibition, when everything was cleared up and it was just us, there, with nothing much else to do.

Just a handful of the fantastic people I have met in my four years in LUCT. Funny, there weren't much photos taken during the whole exhibition. Maybe we were all just too busy running around trying to get our own things finished.

And so, that's it. Four years. Finished on a cloudy, gloomy evening. So many things happened and so many people were there. I wasn't able to absorb the moment. There is only this solitary picture to remind me of what I felt at that time.

All I could remember was a tinge of sadness. Is all.

2010-11-21T01:22:00.003+08:00

This space feels like a safe niche away from all the clutter, mess and busy-ness I'm facing right now. I wanna grab a pillow, rest my head and sleep until I wake up naturally. Tomorrow's the last day to finish everything. Sleep can wait. I'm going for excellence right now.

Biz card

2010-11-17T06:13:00.002+08:00

Wokay, don't mind my previous post. That was madness from all the stress talking. So, here, an honest recap of my progress, one week to exhibition day. Shit, like really, next week today is exhibition. *faint*

Check out my business card design. I wanted to do something that represents both my graphic design and illustration skills. So on one side, it's sleek and smooth, totally professional. And then the other side will act as a canvas for me to display an example of my illustration.

Ta-da!

So blah.

Hahaha... I totally dislike it. When I envisioned it, the beauty in my mind was not this. Anyhow, I sent this out for offset printing just so I have some cards in hand on the first day. Am planning to redo and print another batch. So if you're coming for my exhibition, do come from second day onwards, 25-27 NOV. Hopefully by then you will get a nicer business card than this piece of toot.

One week. Too scared to list down all the things I haven't done. One thing about procrastination is it will make you realise how much you want to do the things that you simply don't have the time for. Threw out a lot of ideas simply because there isn't enough time.

No one to blame but myself.

To snooze now, then work. Ta!

Progression

2010-11-13T23:50:00.003+08:00

Wokay wokay. So this is like Week15, right? Which means submission and all that shit right? And I did promise to show progress of all my finals, right? Right? Right? So, here goes. Progression:

LOL!!!!! ROFL!!!! Shit la this time.

If Only

2010-11-12T00:08:00.001+08:00

Happy birthday to you.

I wish you could have been here with mom and witness my graduation.

From the little girl who rode behind you on a bike to school every day to this adult, who will be graduating from university.

I wish you could have been here. I want to take a picture with you and mom, side by side.

I've never liked flowers, but I want you to bring them for me.

I want you to be there snapping pictures at me and I want to chide you for being annoying.

I want you to be there, for it will be one of the proudest moments in your life.

I want you to be there, standing in the crowd with your grandchildren, every one of them bugging you to carry them higher so they can see better.

I want you with us on our yearly trip to Genting. I want to see you spoiling the kids rotten with too much cotton candy and sweet corn.

I want you to be there to see the fruits of your labour.

I want to earn my first salary and treat you and mom to a nice dinner.

If only you could be here. I still miss you.

THE POINT official site

2010-11-08T00:00:00.002+08:00

This is it. No turning back now.

www.gotothepoint.wordpress.com

The official site of our exhibition, THE POINT.

I now have a major case of nerves. Hur. Breathe. Stop thinking, start working.

Joys of a Lunatic

2010-11-06T04:29:00.003+08:00

4.29am. Working on unappealing advertising. I have this thought in mind where once I am done with all the executions for advertising, the real fun can begin. Portfolio book. Self promo items. Exhibition's on 24 November. I figure if I really focus and give in ten day's worth of good solid work, things don't necessarily have to end in disaster. Minimal sleep. Productive days... and mostly nights.

I am so afraid. I think it's even affecting my appetite. Lunches and dinners are the time of the day which I look forward to. A couple of hours away from the computer, comforted by good food.

As much as I am buoyed by this uncertain feeling if I could even finish it all, I find this so exciting. I will work and be weighed down by all these crazy amount of work! I will also revel because these are actually things I derive joy from. Bringing beautiful concepts to life, drawing, creating, designing. I love it all. These final days will be hard, they will be tough. As they are gonna be the last days of my life as a student, I know I will make them worth my while. It's going to be superb.

I already have... four items nailed down from the five promo items that we have to come out with. From the picture above, you can see the stack of empty coasters that I bought. Empty. Fifty pieces. Hahahahaha... as if I didn't have enough work. Any idea on how I can use them? To draw? Mosaic pieces that can form a big picture? As business cards? As ninja shuriken?

I love my life as it is. This is gonna be the most exciting time for a while. Hee.

Go to the Point

2010-11-04T03:07:00.002+08:00

Do you know how it feels when you're so pumped up about something you can see no wrong in it? We have worked really hard for this, our graduate showcase. Finally, we have something to show to the world, just the tip of the iceberg.

Visit facebook.com/go.to.the.point for our official Facebook page. Like us.

The concept of our exhibition is really simple. We want to get people to come see our work. We are the Point.

Anyways, back to seeing no wrong in what you do when you're so pumped up. I worry. When we launched the page we are already putting ourselves out there for criticism. Then moments when you're not sure if it's really that perfect after all come haunting. However, it's comforting to know I have good team mates to do this with. Everything will be good. We will go all out because really, what do we have to lose?

W13 Recap

2010-10-25T23:24:00.003+08:00

Sign that I am still not totally into work: I am still getting eight hours sleep.

It's week13, let's have a recap.

I have officially said bye bye to Marketing and Design Cultures. Finished all journals, tests and my part in reports. I'd like to take the chance here to thank THAM for being a totally awesome guy. He took up the responsibility unbidden to finish up two group reports for us. Thank you! You've freed up a lot of lumbering-around-not-knowing-what-to-do time for us.

There are currently three really huge huge huge things to do. 12 executions for Advertising, Advertising presentation concept, Graphic design self-promo and portfolio book, and Exhibition (realise how I capitalise the E, coz it's like a named presence, hovering, looking down on us with a smug smug sinister smile).

A lot of wasted time. Old news. Not even gonna waste blog space berating myself. The only thing I can do now is to do do do.

And breathe.

On a side note, mom got back from Singapore and she called me. Told her about my lost wallet and how I am owing people money left and right. She then said she'll bank in some money for me. Feeling so much like a rotten egg, I messaged her and apologized for asking money from her the moment she got home. And she replied me this, "What are mothers for." Not as an ATM machine, no, but for always saving me from a critical condition (critical coz I can't access any of my own money!). Love you mom!!!!

2010-10-21T15:52:00.001+08:00

I will pack a bag, be on a date with myself to freeze the present into a letter for myself, ten years later. I fear and I look forward to December. For I journey. I will.

What the TOOOT

2010-10-18T23:09:00.002+08:00

Got all these lovelies from Yueh Yih's album.

It was just supposed to be a weekend where we gather among ourselves. But lo-and-behold, some unexpected people turned up and we ended up having a mini-gathering of Georgians in KL. As always it was great seeing old friends again. It's interesting, seeing them where they are now, different from where you might expect them to be from secondary school.

A biologist who is pursuing an MBA.

A peer already earning the big bucks when I'm still in school.

An economist whom I thought hated numbers.

A constant finally making a change to her life.

A lunatic who is beginning to make sense.

And me, nothing. Expected.

I love this angle! Makes my face look sharp and yeng!

Anyways, had some rotten luck which sorta spoiled my excellent mood. I lost my wallet don't know where, must have dropped it when I left my bag unzipped? Rm200 cash, RM50 cash card, IC, license, ATM card, Haagen Daaz Ambassador card, Student ID, dobi receipt, one Guan Yin scripture amulet thing and my paper map design wallet, a gift from Shiau Fong from London. And oh, I got a summon from parking by the side of the road at Bukit Jalil. And yeah, took a wrong turn on the way back from KLIA which resulted an hour's detour and an extra RM8.60 for toll. Had to borrow money from people but still insisted on eating expensive food which is soooo out of my league now.

Not the worst of luck. In fact, I'm quite lucky. Still good. But but but... aih, just let me whine a bit. I'll feel better.

On a totally random note, I wanna go somewhere I can breathe. Just me and the wide open sky. Fuhhh.....

Global Warming Presentation

2010-10-16T00:42:00.003+08:00

We had this global warming poster presentation some time this week. Tuesday kut. 40 people. Each about five minutes, some so much more. When we left, it was about five in the evening.

These are some of my classmates' works. Ten weeks for completion of a single poster. Hah.

I've singled out some designs from my camera. There are of course a lot more nice ones, but I didn't manage to get pictures of them all. So here I'll only be showing whatever I got.

First up, Wienie's sweet poster. I really like the line work and also the water colour textures. Am always a sucker for textures. =P That's why you see textures in most of my works too.

Jing Wen's poster. Have always liked her stuff. Her style appeals very much to me.

Adora with hers. Upon closer inspection, there's some crazy Illustrator tracing stuff going on in there.

Nick's awesome hand-painted artwork. I've been doing digital all along, not so sure if I can paint with my hands on real canvas anymore. O wait, I've never been able to paint for real. Hah.

And Ms Forty-one. Stole this from Jing Wen's album, didn't get a picture of hers, but it's so good it'll be a crime to not include this. I will never have her patience with all these details. But whatever I cannot execute on my own, I can always admire from afar, right?

Yea. And mine. Printed in its full glory. I've officially grown tired from looking at this. I really need to come up with something new so that my portfolio will not only have this single piece of work.

Noooooo

2010-10-15T23:20:00.002+08:00

There was rushing of work until 6.30a.m.

There was a missing the alarm, got scared awake by a knock on the door, early morning.

There was a presentation after being barely awake from too little sleep night before.

There was submission on mounting board.

Then there was a really good sleep after an all-day's work in the afternoon, until the skies grew dark.

Then there was sleeping until early morning, waking up naturally, totally refreshed.

How can this not be the end of the semester yet? It looks and feels like it. Gahhhhh.... Many many torturous days forthcoming.

The small breather was just an illusion. A cruel one at that.

E. Again.

2010-10-12T19:16:00.001+08:00

I ♥ E神

Do you know typing "<" and "3" together translates into "♥"? I've only just found out.

Global Warning

2010-10-12T12:40:00.001+08:00

We spent ten weeks on perfecting this global warming poster. Yes. Ten weeks. With the remaining five weeks for self-promo, portfolio book plus exhibition designs. Genius, yea, the person who managed this for us? Pure. Genius.

When I was brainstorming for ideas, I found myself keep coming back to this one: about the last piece of earth containing all the things we will want to protect and keep safe, mother earth in the background, turning her disappointed face away. So I began with some sketches. Since the poster is A1, I needed to work on a bigger piece of paper to get all the details in. I ended up with three A3s, joined together to form my composition.

After taking pictures of all these (my scanner only scans A4), I crop and resize them properly in Photoshop. The end product will be my final composition.

Next was deciding the colour palette. I came across this album design as well as the "Never Let Me Go" poster with a palette that I really like. These palettes are quiet and whimsical, bringing out the sombre and melancholy feeling that I seek. Using these images as references, I reproduced the colour palettes and use them to colour the foundation of my illustration.

In the end, I decided to take out the bottom part. There were simply too many things and the last part simply detract attention away from the center. By taking out the bottom, I've given myself ample space to place my headline as well.

I was really satisfied with this piece. However, the lecturer didn't really see this my way. She thought it looked flat and the colours not exciting enough. I didn't agree with her critique because it was not my intention to do something too "in your face".

But alas, I gave in to the fact that she's like a client I have to please. To give something neutral like the above a more exciting note was easy, just add a few textures and a more dynamic gradient in the background. Worked like a charm.

I did stumble upon a few nice effects when I was tinkering with the blending mode. Check them out. I like. But not suitable.

This is the final design which I will be printing on A1. I find myself surprisingly liking this better than the neutral looking poster. Another lesson in not limiting myself to my own thoughts and assumptions. There is always a way in improving upon something.

This is the first project that I've uploaded into Behance. I've decided to upload more works there so that it'll serve as my online portfolio. I want so much to have a website where I can put everything under one banner but for the lack of time, Behance is really my best choice.

More posts will come, a chronology of my preparation for graduate exhibition. Like my work? Help spread the word.

Need Sleep

2010-10-10T00:34:00.005+08:00

10.10.10

Must today be of at least some significance for all of us? Nah, not for me. But it warrant a random post in its honour.

Been contemplating a lot lately about priorities

When it's too much I really can't stand it

I need to see them

Blocked someone

My best friends are coming to KL, I need to see them

Hopefully sanity will return

I don't know what to think anymore

I just know there's a lot to do

So random it's no more random

Too much computer time

Too low productivity

How is that possible?

O right Facebook

I tried crying but there were no tears

I survived to Week8

Lost the passion somehow

Wasn't so sad after all?

I tried caring

For a bag of chips

Had a craving for Ruffles

Why can't I have what I want?

But apparently I wasn't really needed

O yea addiction

Been standing on the sidelines a bit too much

Been watching people live their lives

It's a mess

Need to live mine

Was just a passerby

Need to be hero in mine

Where are you?

But gotta know there's more

Lost your way?

Get a GPS

Random random on 10.10.10

Seriously, what's the big deal anyways?

2010-10-07T12:52:00.002+08:00

missed the date

still couldn't listen to that song

is a fool no more

Whoa Fun

2010-10-04T02:05:00.004+08:00

Just before going to sleep, let me list down the things to be done in five weeks. =) So screwed mannn.

1. CRISIS direct mail

2. WITNESS typography posters

3. KANCIL ambient design

4. Royal Opera House poster series

5. Parlophone integrated campaign

6. Kirin Ichiban integrated campaign

7. Five marketing product reviews

8. Mini Malaysia presentation

9. Kenya Hara summary

10. Design Culture journal

11. Portfolio book

12. Self promo campaign

13. Advertising/Graphic Design exhibition

14. Personal projects

Scared. Wicked. But really, I am gonna slowly cut off each item off the list. Gearing up. I am.

I only mean to do well, do my part. I never mean to slight anyone. O well.

Ada Exhibition

2010-10-02T15:50:00.003+08:00

I'm nervous. Butterflies in the stomach and tingling crawling skin kinda nervous.

Nope, not coz I spot any hot guys but we're doing an exhibition. Finally. We've gotten a confirmation that we'll be holding an advertising/graphic design exhibition. Though unlike what I've always imagined doing this with the whole of BPD8, it's still pretty awesome.

There's so much uncertainties involved. We'll have to push, kick, crawl etc into completion. Only six weeks left. We have to pull this thing off in six weeks. So scared. So nervous.

What I really do like about this is getting to work with half of the rest of the class. These are people I have never been in a group with. Though we had only two meetings so far, I am optimistic we can all come together to get this done. After all, this exhibition is for all of us.

On a side note, I've completed 25 books in nine months. Not optimistic at all that I'm gonna hit fifty by the end of the year, but o well. Never knew I read so little. I actually thought fifty books in a year's easy!

When our exhibition's on, will you come? Please? =)

edit: I know why I'm truly nervous. I had yin yong, which means coffee, thus quickening my heart beat to resemble signs of being nervous. =.=

Book Quote

2010-09-27T23:25:00.000+08:00

"It is what you read when you don't have to that determines what you will be when you can't help it."

Oscar Wilde

A hopeless romantic?

Why I Blog

2010-09-27T00:01:00.002+08:00

You're reading this post most probably through subscribing to this blog with a reader or directly clicking on my blog's link on any blogroll. The point is you're reading this voluntarily and not because I shove the link into your face. This is the reason why I feel more secure putting down my thoughts here as opposed to sharing it on Facebook or Twitter. Mypencilstories is my own tiny niche in the world wide web, mine but far from being private. You are reading what I chose to write. You are reading because you wanted to and I never asked you to. So pray tell, if you're ever offended by my thoughts, why should I care? Well, that has always been my rationale regarding freedom in blogging. But this thought has been slightly altered as of late.

How blogging started for me.

I think I started blogging in... Form3? I discovered it in Friendster, "Thoughts of Shy Goghvinci". Through blogging I discovered my ease with words and the ease words bring me. I find it easier to pour out my feelings by rapidly tapping on the keyboard. But the ease of feelings doesn't just stop there, it comes from the assuring fact that there are people reading and maybe, just maybe, someone reading cares.

Blogging from those days earned me the understanding of an important friend. I think having read my words allowed her to learn more about me thus bridging the gap between us. I am not easy to understand as a person, I sometimes purposely make it hard. But through my blog, I am glad she managed to see me. Yes, Adrienne, I'm talking about you (or didn't you realise this?).

For myself.

I blog simply for myself. Okay fine, I blog initially for the attention. I like reading people's comments. I like the interaction that happens. But soon I realised I don't have that many readers anyway so it gradually became I blog for myself. For my deteriorating memory. Like really. When I tried to recall what happened in Form Six, all I could remember was my horrid results. I don't remember details. Reading back on old old posts allows me to travel back through time and read for myself the person I was then.

Gah. I can't even remember what class I was in in Form3!

For design.

This blog only ever become active back when I was in Year2. It was then when I realised I can blog so much more about the mundane happenings in my life. I can blog about the things I've learnt about design and the work I did. With this blog, I record most of my creative processes and my growth as a designer. With a name I love and can totally relate to, "Pencil Do The Thinking" became both my personal and design blog.

For friends.

Blogging is an extraordinary way to keep in touch with friends. Once, I had this group blog with five other friends. We update it frequently with things that happened, thoughts and opinions on anything and everything. I have lost count on the number of times I was touched by the motivation, encouragements and love carried across to me by mere words. But like everything else good, our shared passion for the blog slowly ebbed away. The fact remains the experience was something I'll never exchange for anything else.

For readers.

Did I mention I love the attention blogging gives me? When you're here, reading about me, well, the starring role naturally belongs to me, right? I don't have many readers, I think I mentioned this before too. But for however little there is of you out there, I sometimes blog with you in mind. Not often, but it happens.

Blogging with discretions.

Oh, and a concluding paragraph to my opening. Once I felt that a blog is one's personal space where one can just rant and write and pour all out without qualms. You chose to read this. I didn't force you. That's my rationale. But I've come to see what blogging without discretions do to a person.

I read about people who rant non-stop. Post after post full of anger and frustrations. And then I find my perception of that person changed. I don't mind the ranting and all those negativities, you have every right to say what you want, but at what price? People look at you differently. As much as you think there's nothing wrong with saying anything you want on your own page, from that moment onwards, people will think differently of you.

Some might say they don't care what people think. When you show yourself losing control of your emotions, you are actually showing people your vulnerabilities. As much as I let people read about what I do on a day-to-day basis, I can't stand to let random strangers know my real thoughts. This is the main reason why I will blog with discretions. To protect myself.

Lastly, blogging is good for the soul. =)

Woes of September

2010-09-21T22:36:00.003+08:00

It's not right to always put nice nice things in here. After all, this is my personal design blog that's supposed to keep track of everything I've done design-wise, feelings and struggles throughout the creative process and of course, self-criticism on my own work. I revel in showing my own designs here that I'm proud of. On the other end of the scale, I'm ashamed to show these sub-standard work. I know I am better than these. But by the end of me struggling to save the design, I simply thought numbly "I don't know how anymore."

Maybelline brief. Design a graphic to put on a bag. The brief is pretty loose, so long as it's able to portray the spirit of Maybelline and New York.

I did some shit first. Composed several images and sent it over to the lecturer for approval. But after I set about executing it, I gave up. I don't see the point in tracing over images with no real purpose in mind. Fine. Scrap that. Start over.

Then I did this ornate design thing. I love it. Really. But the feedback I got back from the lecturer was "I have nothing to say, hope the client like it." Well, that did not tell me much, did it? So I turned to some people I hope will be able to give my some honest feed back. The general consensus was it looked like stock vector (never mind the fact that I drew and traced it painstakingly in AI). And then there's the ever reliable Yueh Yih. Comments memang tak bagi muka one. I showed it to her, and she out right told me, "Re do." I was just trying to make pretty things, not thinking. I hated her. Must she be so honest, even if I asked for it? Every designer is fortunate to have such a jerk for a friend. Good for the soul. Strictly no sarcasm intended.

Then I proceeded to redo this thing. And finally came up with something I could have cried over by the end. It's like shit.

It's bad when I couldn't even look at it directly. I look at it from far far away and couldn't see a single thing. Handing in this work filled me with helplessness. I couldn't really blame this on procrastination. I had ample time. This time, I just couldn't pull it off. Maybe I was thinking too much when the simplest of graphic would be enough.

But for the heck of it, I am owning up to this work (but no way is this piece of crap going into my portfolio). Owning up to it as I would my other designs that put a beaming smile on my face.

Ahh... solemn solemn post. Better things will come. It has to.

Ah Pui and Ah San

2010-09-20T20:02:00.003+08:00

Whoa! Post long time in coming!

Two of my bestest friend in the whole wide universe has graduated. Weeee~~~~ (erm... about a couple of months back kut)

I was the first one to go into Uni but the last one to grad (that is if I even manage to, hah!).

I missed your big moment, Rui, I was too busy conquering the highest peak in Malaysia. I hope I've sorta redeemed myself by being there for Hooi Fong on her big day. But truth be told, I happen to think convocation's like a big waste of energy, an elaborate show put up just for the sake of the family. Dear all, when I graduate, please, I'd like cash rather than bouquets of flowers that'll wither and die on me the next day.

Gah. Went a little off track there.

I've come to realise there are details about the two of you that I may not be able to answer. Details that one will only know if we see each other constant enough. Gone were the days when we were there all the time for one another, physically. I predict the coming years will be an even bigger challenge and will take a bigger toll on our friendship. Career probably does that better than university.

But I know no matter where we are, we have threads in common. There are not many people I can turn to in times of doubts and frustrations. You can bet your sorry ass I will not turn into one of those so-called adults that when asked where are your old friends and will answer, "Don't know. Lost contact long ago."

All the best my friends, in your future endeavors. I fervently wish we do not be complacent in our lives too early, well, at least not until we are fifty! Have faith and dive, one wise friend once told me. Let's all do that. I think we'll turn out rather brilliantly.

We cannot be otherwise.

E

2010-09-19T19:45:00.000+08:00

Cute ma? =DDD

My Date with Mom

2010-09-16T01:15:00.002+08:00

For the Raya weekend, mom came down from Penang to visit me! I was worried about not knowing where to take her. She planned to be here for four days three nights, I couldn't really expect her to just bum around in my room doing nothing, right?

I needn't worry because mom came with only one objective in mind: FOOD. In fact, she emailed me with a list of places she wanted to go and short of demanding me take her. These were what we had for the whole duration she was here, in order:

Seremban Favourites Char Siew > Imbi Road Tai Loke Min > Kuchai Lama dim sum > Jonker Street food stuff (she totally disliked them. even snorted in derision at a stall of penang char kuey teow there) > Ampang Yong Tau Foo > Tenji Japanese Buffet > Ampang Yong Tau Foo (had it again for her meal before leaving, it was so good it warrant a back-to-back visit)

No pictures. Not a fan of taking food pictures, I prefer eating them immediately after serving.

Anyhow, I was burdened with the guilt of not doing any work during her whole time here. Then the guilt was elevated a teeny bit with every kind of food we had together. I appreciate having my mom to myself for these few days. If all went well, the next time I'll see her will be graduation.

For the first time in my 23 years, I felt slightly embarrassed and guilty for having my mother pay for every single thing. I console myself by thinking these will be the last bits. When I work next year onwards, no more such treatments. When I earn my own money, it will be my blessing and honour to be able to care for her. I have no ambition to get big cars and big houses, but I do want to pamper my mom by paying for her food and expensive stuff she will never buy for herself.

Love you mom. Till end of the year. =)

Not Good.

2010-09-11T14:42:00.002+08:00

Very very scared now. The last time I procrastinated like so things turned out horrendous. I know it's awful for me to hope my classmates are slacking in their work as well so that I'm not left alone among this pile of work.

Gaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh.....!!!!!! I can't think for the advertising briefs. I HATE advertising.

That's why I'm gonna start on something simpler, the Maybelline brief.

Dear BPD8, if you're reading, WORK! Please work so hard and make me feel bad about slacking. I depend upon your momentum to propel me forward as well.

Bah.

Love for Books

2010-09-06T23:31:00.002+08:00

I've finally went to the Bookfest held in KLCC. Twice. Once with my cousin, to first scout things out, then just now with friends, to finally buy some books. I admire my control this time around for I've only spent RM60 to buy three books. Last year, I spent about RM250 buying stacks of books plus CDs. Gah... luckily there weren't any old Eason Chan CDs.

These are the books I spent my good money on: Eat Pray Love, Empress Orchid and The Blood of Flowers.

Fictions are probably the only thing I read. When I buy during book fest, I try my best to get a variety of books eg. different genre and country. I like reading about different cultures, countries and equip myself with some historical knowledge. It is only with fiction that I will engross in reading. Give me a history book I'll probably doze off halfway.

My Books Read 2010 has reached #22. To reach my target of 50 seemed kinda far fetched now. Bah, never mind.

So many book sales going on! There's the BookXcess Raya sales and maybe a Borders sales. Mom's coming to visit this weekend. Maybe I can bring her to the bookfest? And buy more? *evil laughter*

Got yourself some books? Happy reading!

Hey Me...

2010-09-06T22:50:00.002+08:00

Four months to graduation. Four months to the so-called real world.

Reminder to self: Anything but security. Anything but complacency. Anything but easy.

It's high time to scare myself wicked!

When in Doubt

2010-09-05T01:11:00.002+08:00

I know of people who can't stand be taken advantage of. They might insist it's a matter of principle. Despite what people perceive of me, I have trouble standing up for what I think is my right. Even when I'm sure I'm right, I give myself lengthy pep talk for a semblance of reassurance. Unconsciously, I have developed this mental image of a weighing machine every time I encounter situations where I doubt my role. I weigh the pros and cons from all angles, adopting a tit for tat attitude.

But then recently, I have gotten tired of calculating so much over peanuts. It might be the right thing for me but not necessarily the right thing to do.

When in doubt, be generous. Not an easy thing to do.

My New Short Crop

2010-09-04T13:23:00.002+08:00

I've finally cut off my hair, the longest I've kept since I was ten. The fear of having a bad short hair cut was outweighed by the frustration of waiting for my hair to grow till waist long.

A short short cut plus dark brown dye to colour out my faded highlights.

I think I look really good. =)

Pretty Blue and Shine

2010-09-03T13:40:00.002+08:00

It's sunny and breezy outside.

But no matter how pretty the weather is there's really not much to do under this Malaysian sun.

Anyhow, the breeze is lovely.

It's not that bad after all.

Nike+ iPod Watch Remote

2010-08-25T01:38:00.000+08:00

I want.

For the Next Ten Weeks

2010-08-25T00:08:00.004+08:00

This is my customary scare-myself-shitless post. There's currently a lot of lying around, doing nothing and watching Boston Legal online streaming while breaking Bejeweled score/ up-level in Pirates Ahoy.

What the toooooooot am I doing?

1. Advertising 15 ads. I have chosen two integrated campaigns, two series campaign, and one stand alone.

2. GD indusity crap. Maybeline NY bag design and one global warming poster.

3. Miscellaneous randoms from Design Culture and Marketing. Should be just a lot of writing. *faint*

Yet to come:

4. Portfolio book.

5. Self promo yada-yada.

6. Additional art pieces of self-initiation.

It's week 4. I've got ten more weeks. That's just slightly more than two months. I figured there's really no sense saying time's not enough unless you really utilise all your waking 24-hours. Otherwise, there IS time. Depending very much how you're using it.

Which I'd like to add, I'm not using time very wisely now. Hah.

Restlessness

2010-08-20T23:36:00.002+08:00

A day will pass then another and another and another... until it's the end of the year and the end of my life as a carefree student. Now's not a good time to get cold feet. I don't know what I am not ready for. All I know is I am dulled by the present.

I need a bigger world.

Header - A Moony Night

2010-08-16T23:20:00.002+08:00

Yo! It's high time for a new header. The prev one was done beginning of the year. Since it's already eight months later, I'd like to freshen up the look of this blog a little. I didn't really have the time to go scout for a new blog template. I kinda like the present one as it is, wide content area and white background, all the easier on the eyes. I managed to find the background colour code though, so I tweaked the white into black. Cheap trick, but at least it's different!

I like how the header looks overwhelmingly large. It's takes up about 2/3 of the space above the fold. This image-centric approach points out that this is a designer's blog, so expect to see pretty images smack in your face.

I started off this illustration with a scan of my sketch.

First I trace the banner. For creating quality of lines like these, I actually prefer the knock-out technique rather than tinkering with art brushes. By tracing out the overall shape then slowly cutting out the white areas give me a better control of my execution.

Typing in the title using the font "Juice ITC". This is also when I add in details to the banner.

I like working the initial stage in Illustrator. It's easier here compared to Photoshop to trace over all the parts and filling them with flat colours, a fundamental base where the layers will be built on.

I then import the file into PSD. With the file opened in Photoshop, all layers intact, I start to fill in the gradients.

Initially I planned to do this moon effect in Illustrator, but masking and opacity there are too much of a hassle. It's a breeze in Photoshop though. Just a lot of hard round brushes, erasing, and changing opacities.

This is not exactly the northern lights effect I have in mind but it worked well with the overall image. This is filter > render > fiber. Then motion and gaussian blur it. Set it to screen. Put a layer of gradient over it, overlay, then merge both layers. Overlay again. I think. I suck in writing tutorials.

Ta-da~!

I get lazy so easily throughout the execution. As I proceed, I sort of lose grasp over the details I have in mind, never mind being confused over the colour template. I realised I like using yellow and pink a lot. Will try doing another piece with a different colour mood.

Header's not great, composition can be very much improved on, but I likey~

BPD8

2010-08-14T02:21:00.002+08:00

Check out my timetable this semester highlighted in yellow! Whoa~ I've finally gotten the elusive dream schedule after six semesters! Only three working days in a seven day week. It's gonna be one hell of a long weekend.

I've been to all my classes and had a pretty good idea of what's in store. One thing that I looked forward to is the final exhibition. However, details are so vague I'm not even sure how involved we will be.

One good thing about this semester is there will only be one group work, unlike the last, when we had like almost all group works for all things major. This is going to be one really busy semester. It might not be such a bad idea for us to work on projects individually and only have ourselves to worry about. It's speedier and cuts down on distractions.

My core and major are gonna be killer modules. Graphic design will have two indusity projects, one self-promo and portfolio book. In addition, I hope to be able to find the time to create more pieces to put into my portfolio book. So far, I have very little that's good enough for show.

There's no more Ken Goh this semester. All of a sudden I felt as if we were little birds that left our cozy nests, forced to either fly or drop dead. And no, Ken Goh's not gonna be down there with his hands open trying to save us.

I didn't know we have such things as advertising exhibition. Worse than GD, I have even less to show for in advertising if that's possible. These are the projects I did: Tune Hotel, so ugly I cringe to look at it; Yaris, immature; radio ads, mediocre; SPCA, my redeeming work but it's not really ALL mine, so, no. No wonder I got only Bs. Dank.

Anyway, we are expected to create at least three campaigns, or fifteen ads. Industry professionals will be invited to grade us too. Ooo... fun. Gahhh!!

Marketing, please be a breeze. Only one test and assignment.

Design culture, we have one group research plus presentation, major essay, project and journal. Eeek! At least we got Trina again. Oh joy!

Key words this semester: major and final. It all sounds so... decisive. As if this is the end of the road for us, where we have to give our all and show people that these four years are not all wasted.

Wait a minute, it's not as if, IT IS.

Mid Year Recap

2010-08-05T00:29:00.002+08:00

Today is already August. A bit off the mark for this mid-year recap thing. I've never apologized for putting off posts and I will not start now. I'd like to think in this blog, I answer to no one but myself.

Damn it's August already. First week of Semester 8 aka last semester has already started. I put off going back for a week because I promised Hooi Fong that I'll play the photographer in her convocation. Apparently skipping first week is no big loss due to LUCT's infamous inefficiency. I won't complain about it now for this predictability actually played in my favour this time around.

What have I done for the first half of twenty ten? Eve once asked me what my plans are for 2011, if I will be free to travel. I answered her, "I don't know what's going to happen in 2011, but I know 2010 is going to be a blast." So far, things have been going fairly well.

Friendship

I am beginning to lose friends I keep close at heart. It seemed funny how when we all graduated from secondary school and were scattered all across the nation and world, we put so much effort in maintaining our relationships. It seemed as if we were trying to proof that friendships last long distance. And we succeed for three or four years. There were emails, msn chats, Facebook updates, blog posts and comments. When everyone's back in home town, we can't wait to get together and just spend time together.

Now we've all approached another milestone: graduation; and the real threat is only now forthcoming: work. Only this time around, we couldn't care too much/less about secondary school friends. There's a new lifestyle to adapt to. Bosses to impress. Friendships that are sustained so far, are slowly neglected.

Why?

Family

There's a new addition to the family, Caryn! Niece #4. There's nothing like seeing kids growing up which makes me feel old.

Academics

Like I said, final semester is here. For the first time in the four years in LUCT, this is the first time I am looking forward to going back. There are so many things I want to do! Plus, this is also the first time I have awesome housemates waiting for me back in #16. I want to make our silly laughs last through this last four months together.

Design wise, I have a better idea formed in my head about the direction I need to be taking. This will be the last half a year for me to prove myself. There's a healthy amount of fear to keep me humble, but also brilliant shots of giddiness to bolster my confidence.

I wanna do good. Really good.

Love

Bah, what love? Though nothing exciting has happened to me, personally, lovey-dovey wise, I have bear witness to 'situations' happening to friends and people around me. It was interesting being in on all the stories, and I look forward to more drama unfolding.

And oh yeah, on a personal level, I am keeping count and it does feels just like yesterday. I can't help but do this to myself.

Personal Achievements

I CLIMBED THE HIGHEST PEAK IN MALAYSIA!!!!!!

Right. That's all. Hah.

Cheers peeps!! This here, to an invigorating last FIVE months of the year. Before you know it, it's Chinese New Year again. Mehhh.....

2010-07-27T22:25:00.000+08:00

"Idiot."

Journey to the Highest Peak in Malaysia

2010-07-18T22:14:00.005+08:00

It all began with a simple question, "Has anyone been to Mount Kinabalu?" Due to Integriticity's spirit of "come larrr" and "let's go!" very soon we had a list of people going and Mike in-charged of putting every thing together. This trip was planned six months in advance, and truth be told, I wasn't thinking when I got myself into this. Prior to this, I went for training on and off with fellow team members, hikes round Bukit Kiara, up and down Batu Caves steps and also hiking in my own neighbourhood hill. As the date of the trip drew near, I had butterflies in my stomach just thinking about it. I bored Rui and Fong with all my whining about not wanting to go and sorta scared my mom with my dread. Mom actually said if don't want to go don't go la, I'll pay for whatever you've paid. Dank the offer was tempting, but I knew as much as I dreaded this trip, I would have regretted it even more for giving up before it even started.

Day1

Met up with fellow Integricitizens in KLIA and met some new people, namely Mike's friends. From there, we took the plane to Sabah, my first time in East Malaysia. Guess what? It looked exactly like West Malaysia. Heh.

We checked into our lodgings in Kinabalu Park and I was pleasantly surprised to see how equipped the place was. Hot water, toiletries, towels and clean bunk beds. We had a buffet dinner there. I managed to get into the souvenir shop to buy some last minute stuff I didn't prepare ie. beanie and a pair of kampung adidas with excellent grip.

This was the lounge area we had at our lodgings. Nobody could enjoy this place much for we all slept pretty early to prepare for an early day.

The buffet dinner was good! It was good enough to take my mind off the real deal the next day.

Day2

A buffet breakfast was prepared. Everything looked so tempting but I controlled myself and only had three slices of toasts. I have a feeling if I binged, I'd most probably throw up on the mountains.

Before departing, we were briefed by our guide. The mist also cleared for us to get a good look at what we were up against.

When I packed from Penang, I was so prepared to bring everything I had up on my back. Then it so happened that a huge number of us actually planned to hire the porters to bring the stuff up for us. My bag was only 5kg, and I paid RM45 to get it portered. Since it was to be a two-way trip, and it left me light and easy with only my own stamina to concern about, I thought it was a very good deal. I understand my own capabilities and lugging a 5kg bag on my back up a mountain's not it.

There were two ways to go to Laban Rata, the three quarter point where we'll stop to rest before continuing to the summit. One was Timpohon which was a lot of steps but with shorter distance. The one we chose was Mesilau, longer with an extra 2km, supposedly easier coz it has less steps (total bull) and way more scenic than Timpohon. Just prior to starting the hike, it felt a bit like going on a roller coaster. I was definitely afraid of what's in store, yet I know it was the excitement I was looking for.

It was a grand achievement when I first saw the 0.5km mark. And then it hit me, another 7.5km to go. It was not as hard as I thought but it certainly wasn't easy either.

About halfway through it, I became somehow alone in the middle. There were some hard core climbers in front of me going on their merry way and I knew the other half of the group was behind me, pacing themselves.It was a good position to be in. It got a bit lonely walking on my own until I came to appreciate the stillness around me. There were many random strangers that passed me by. It was nice having random conversations with these people, especially the porters. They were amusing in the things they say thus lifting some of the dull off the hike. It was also during this time when I got to enjoy the best apple I've ever eaten.

The best thing about Mesilau trail was this stretch that looked like a hanging garden. Lose your balance and you might just find yourself dropping off either side of the ledge.

The only trouble I had was my loose socks. They kept slipping off my heels which resulted in a blister I had to bear the rest of the way.

It was beautiful when we reached Laban Rata. I was in a position where it's literal when I said I was looking down on clouds. I made pretty good time getting there. It took me eight hours to go through eight kilometres uphill. I was feeling really good about myself and was pumped up about the hike up the summit eight hours later.

Glorious food in Laban Rata. I was very hungry and tired. Any food will seem like it was prepared for a king. Or in my case, queen. Hah!

This picture below was the last I took of Day2, when it was nearer to sunset. I love how the clouds looked pink and cotton-candy-ish. I would love to be able to literally strip those clouds from the sky and pop them into my mouth.

Day3

It was damn freaking cold in our lodgings. Heater and hot water were out. We were all practically frozen in our bunk beds and could hardly sleep a wink. By 1am, we were all getting ready for the next part of the hike, which was to the summit. After breakfast, we began at about 3am or slightly later.

The deal was this: On our way up, there will be a check-point in Sayat-sayat about 1.5km away. Those that arrive later than 5am will not be admitted through the check-point, which means no climbing up the summit. Ideally, we will have to reach by 6am on the summit to catch the sunrise. Pffft.

It was tough for me, the first stretch of this trail. It might be I was already very tired from the hike up to Laban Rata or my stamina's really low when it comes to endless staircase or I ate too much for breakfast, I was left behind. I knew I was last coz the guide was walking behind me all the time. It was pitch dark and there was only light from my torchlight and the guide's headlight. I knew I wasn't making good time yet I still rest a lot to catch my breath and to take sips of water. I didn't fail to notice how beautiful the night sky was. Imagine standing on a very narrow ledge against a mountain's rock surface and when you look out into total darkness, there were millions and millions of stars shining. As I was standing there in awe of my surrounding beauty, I instinctively felt the guide mentally urging me on.

His words of wisdom were, "Biar lambat asalkan cepat." It meant taking small measured steps and short short breaks in between. At one point, I looked at my phone as was shocked to find the time to be 4.38am. According to the guide, I was 250m away from the checkpoint. Dank I got flustered but I refused to get pessimistic thinking I didn't get so far just to miss the stupid check point. It was at this time when the guide showed his superhuman powers. He grabbed hold of my hand and began leading me up the mountain surface. I didn't realise he intended to lead me like this all the way to the checkpoint. With his guidance, I was going along with his pace, taking very small steps but quickly. In the end, I managed to get to the check point in ten minutes, meeting both Lianne and Sonia there.

One hour to get to the summit was impossible. Okay, fine, it's possible, but not for me. The guide once again helped us to get there faster. The guide literally dragged both Lianne and I up to the base of Low's peak, the highest peak on the mountain (irony). He was like an incredibly steady tongkat that we could rely on to move forward. With him, I managed to pace myself better and was forced to go beyond my own limit. When I thought I needed to stop to take a break, he'll keep us moving and that's when I realised I could take more steps than I thought possible.

We didn't make it to the peak before sunrise. But I was able to witness for myself the first light of day and how all the dark silhouettes of the mountain came into view. Though I didn't exactly make it all the way up the summit on my own, I was proud to say I did make it up Low's Peak rocky surface myself. When I was up there on the highest point in Malaysia (by the way, I was the last person to reach the peak, hah!) taking all of nature's wonder in, I thought, dank, I made it. Hee.... I fucking made it!

When we made our way down, everything looked so beautiful in broad day light. It was a wonder how I made it up there, against all those rock surfaces. Heck, how?!

These were the awesome guides that helped us all the way. The one on the left was Joe, the guide who helped me along the way up to the summit. The one on the right was Primus, the guide/porter that I noticed lugged my bag up to Laban Rata for me. Awesome awesome people.

Below's my mandatory cheesy photo on the peak. I don't care. Have to snap a pic! Yea~!!

We made our way down the mountain through Timpohon trail, the one with a lot of staircases-like steps. It was pure torture for my tired muscles. And then it poured. By the end of it all when I finally reached the bottom again, I was tired, sleepy, moody, cold, wet and miserable.

From the highest of high I've sunk to the lowest of low. Not bad for a good day's work.

All in all, our team was really lucky to have made it to the summit on our first try. The weather though unpredictable, was most importantly on our side. All in all, an unforgettable experience.

Day4

Spent time in KK. Lunch at some fancy seafood restaurant. Great food but thoroughly over-priced. Flight back KL. Got ripped off going back to SK on a taxi from Putrajaya bus terminal. Arrived in a quiet lonely house. I couldn't stand from being in a noisy group to suddenly being alone again. Thus I threw everything into my car and made a four hour drive back to Penang on the same night.

Finally, finally I had a good and deep sleep in my own bed till the next morning.

Conclusion

I love the mountains. I will definitely not hesitate to go back for a second climb. But with the same amount of money (about RM1k-ish) I'll have to pay, it'll be a better idea to go somewhere new.

More pictures on my Facebook.

Playlist on the Road

2010-06-25T03:09:00.004+08:00

This time tomorrow I'll probably be driving back home. Once I finished my GD journal, then I'll start to diassemble my PC, pack some clothes, bring all my books back, a couple of design magazines, all my artsy fartsy materials and not to forget, my running shoes. And oh yeah, toiletries. I've spent more time in this house in SK #16 than I did in my new house back in Batu Maung.

There's something about going home. I need a few hours to get used to being home. It helps when I assemble my PC, put my clothes in the wardrobe, arrange all art stuff and books into shelves and on desks, and also put my toiletries into my own bathroom. Then, it'll feel like being back home.

I'll be home for slightly less than a month. Then it's final semester. *shudders* That'll come when it comes. For the time being, it's just gonna be chilling and devoting all my time to preparing work for the final exhibition. Dank, I've nothing worthy to put onto display yet!

Driving home tomorrow. I've just burnt two CDs to listen to on the way. Most of my top rated songs. Hee.

I'll be home! Friends in Penang, give me a call. We can go for movies or something. Friends in LUCT, see ya next sem!

A Letter to Me

2010-06-22T03:37:00.002+08:00

I stumbled upon this beautiful song sung in three different versions, three different languages, all touching in their own way. The main message in all three versions is a letter to oneself from the past. They are all about the hopes and dreams when we are young and how our present selves view these aspirations.

This Japanese version should be the original version. This is the one most beautifully sung of all three. If you paid attention to the lyrics, though the message is sombre it is truly uplifting in the end.

This is the Sammi Cheng canto version, which is my favourite of all three. Though this also has an uplifting end, the lyrics made me very afraid. I am at a point in life where dreams come easy and the world's in the palm of my hand. Though I may face a lot of difficult choices and questions, the wonder of it all is I still have choices. The scary thought is when these choices run out, and one day, all I might have left are my broken dreams. Will the thirty-three year old me, look back from the future, and still see Me?

And this is the Mandarin version, the one that affected me the least. This is nice in its own way but does not resonate with me at all.

I will want to write a letter now, addressed to myself ten years later. In the letter, I will write down all my dreams, my fears and my great loves. When I grow up ten years later, and read back the letter, I will want to be able to tell the twenty three year old me that all is fine. I will want to be able to tell me it's okay to dream, that I have removed all obstacles and it is all just, fine.

Will you write a letter to yourself too?

Sammi

2010-06-22T02:47:00.001+08:00

One of the most touching performances I've seen.

Sleepy...

2010-06-21T06:29:00.003+08:00

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE!

Nothing much really, haha~ One final assignment to go which is supposedly due on Tuesday. Once again, no surprise there, it's postponed to Friday instead. Basically it's just prolonged torture. Anyhow anywho, I'll be packing my bags, leave on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again (love this song).

*yawn*

Just waiting for the rest of my drama to load, so that I can put my PC on standby. All loaded dramas shall be slowly enjoyed tomorrow while working. I personally think the standard for TVB dramas has been going down. I can't stand it when the writers take audiences for fools. Bah!

Ta~ good night. =v=

SPCA Campaign and The Best Lecturer EVER

2010-06-13T13:58:00.003+08:00

SPCA Campaign

Our final project was to come up with an awareness campaign. Together with 41, Tham and Elysia, we chose SPCA as the organization to do this campaign for. Our main message was the consequences of strays overpopulation. Through this campaign, we aim to encourage the people who want pets to adopt instead of buying from pet shops.

Tham was in-charged of all things visual, I deal with copy while 41 and Elysia both came up with the design for the promotional campaign props. This is one of the few group works where I felt totally relaxed. Coz I deal only with copy, once my part is done, I'll just have to pass that on to the rest. Then I could sit back and only comment on their works. Sweet~

I really like the visual style we came up for this campaign. It's clean and the impact of the images was really strong. All thanks to Mr. Tham for the great visuals!

But maybe it's due to this being the final project, and we're all pretty burnt out by now, we didn't push the possibilities of this project even further. As good as I thought our ideas were, we could have done more, have a wider reach. At one point or another, I think we're all guilty of thinking, 'This is good enough.' But apparently it's not. A good campaign goes beyond powerful visuals and ideas. There's still the strategy on how we want to reach the audience and I think this was our weakest point throughout the whole project.

Anyways, it's done. Just a few tweaks and Advertising is finished for this semester. And so is our time with Mr Ken Goh which has come to an end.

The Best Lecturer of LUCT

He is funny and impossible to please. He has many weird quirks and asks the hardest question which left most of us stumped all the time 'What is the message?'.

After all the presentation, Ken Goh went to the front of the class to give us some feed backs on how we did. It was only when he was giving us what sounded like final advices that it hit me, this was our last class with Ken Goh. We were with him for two semesters. This dude gave me a B for Advertising before. Hoping to get an A from him seemed so... far-fetched. But he is the best lecturer LUCT had to offer. He questioned our work all the time and had a lot to do with tying our ideas to the ground, making them realistic and executable. Without him, our work will only looked pretty, nice and without substance.

He said that he hoped everything we've learnt we will put into practice and not only do them because it's from the Ken Goh bible. But it's true. We only do certain things thinking 'What will Ken Goh ask?' and 'Ken Goh will not let us off that easily'. It is because of his standards that we strive to do better hoping if not to impress, then at least for approval.

You have been truly great, Sir. Thank you!!

ps: Class pictures courtesy of Ying Waey's album. More here.

Pride of a Graphic Designer

2010-06-12T23:10:00.002+08:00

This was my proposal for Design Analysis submitted yesterday. I've thoroughly enjoyed designing the layout for this book though some said it's not necessary. But what the heck. There are like tonnes of group work this sem. I reveled in doing everything on my own here, making my own decisions without having to get the nod from every other person before doing something. I'm not complaining about group work, the groups I got this sem were awesome, but it felt freer to be on my own.

I've chosen this topic because it's a rather personal question for myself. Every emerging designers must have gone through the same thing. Before getting to make something resembling a career, we get approach by friends and relatives. When it's friends, they normally have nothing to pay me with. When it's relatives/family, they'll probably offer at the most RM50. And then I couldn't help but think, really, my work is worth this little? My work's so... for lack of a better word, worthless?

Then there's this one time when I felt like my pride's bigger than this. I didn't want to do anything for free, I want my work to be worth something. And then slowly, I began to change my mind. Really, what credibility do I have to think so highly of my own pride? I didn't have experience, no real work in my portfolio, so basically I have nothing to bring into this game called freelancing.

So now, I help out friends even if they can't afford to pay me anything. My only aim will be to do real work and put them into my port. Besides, I find the interaction with these people when we discuss the work I do for them to be a worthy experience.

However, I think I'll pass those cheap-ass logo designs on some freelancer sites. RM5-10 for one logo? Like, really? And for some people who has a business and can definitely afford to pay, they won't, claiming exposure's good enough. Screw them. Yes, I want exposure, I want experience. But I will not allow myself to be exploited.

So there. I might not have the credibility now. But I know I'm good. Some will beg to differ, but heck, I think confidence is important in improving myself. I do have my pride, it might not be worth much now, but it will be soon.

Of course, no harm in getting my head up in the clouds so long as I have my feet firmly planted on the ground.

Caryn

2010-06-05T00:25:00.002+08:00

Caryn Tan. Born on 4 June, 12.55p.m. I've reserved a soft spot in my heart for this little precious. Three more weeks and I can go home and put her in my arms. =)

Doubt

2010-06-03T02:12:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I doubt.

I don't know.

Are they mine or.

When was the last time I gaze into the stars?

It was by the side of a highway where the bus broke down.

It was utter darkness save the flashes of headlights zooming by.

The sky was a sea of glittering diamonds.

Had I reach up, my hand will glide upon its dark liquid silkiness, scattering the stars, that blink like fireflies.

I might doubt.

But there are no other ways.

This is the only one I know.

So I doubt.

So?

Pumped!

2010-05-30T22:06:00.003+08:00

BIG BIG BIG PLANS FOR THE FUTURE.

Just gotta finish my proposal, advertising awareness campaign, promo video for GD and multitude journals. Then I can start.

I CAN'T WAIT!!

Quote for Thought

2010-05-29T02:19:00.003+08:00

“Consider what you would do if you knew you would never fail, and pursue that as if your life depended on it — because it does! Only you can create a remarkable life for yourself. Only you.” DEBBIE MILLMAN

The singular most important thing for me right now will be my pursue for a career that'll make me happy for the rest of my life doing things I love and earning money to spend.

Ideal, isn't it?

Naive? Maybe to you.

I have passion and dreams. I will not let them die until I've achieved them.

Still naive? Just because you forgot your dreams doesn't mean I'll have to let go of mine.

Food for thought. Nights, peeps.

3-Movie-Marathon

2010-05-28T21:25:00.004+08:00

It was after the exhibition presentation thing and we thought we should really indulge in something as a form of celebration (nevermind the consecutive submission dates in following weeks). Weee~ 41 and I went on a three movie marathon. We wanted to do four, but due to delay in printing Marketing creative brief, and taking a wrong turn on the way to Midvalley, we could only watch three.

So, movie reviews!

Up first, 'Letters to Juliet'. In picturesque Verona, the place where the famous Romeo and Juliet story was set, women flocked the place writing letters addressed to Juliet, spilling their hearts out. There's this group of women, known as Juliet's secretaries, that actually collect all these letters and answer them, offering advice and support. Against this backdrop, came Sophie, a New Yorker who's there on a pre-wedding honeymoon with her fiance. Since her fiance was too busy to bother spending anytime with her, Sophie was left to her own devices which ultimately led her to discover this group of people. While helping out, she discovered a letter kept hidden which was written fifty years ago by a woman. Of course, Sophie replied the letter not knowing if it's even going to reach the woman. And of course again, the letter reached the woman which prompted the old lady to Verona in search of her lost love together with her strapping grandson. It was hate at first sight between Sophie and the grandson yada yada they went in search together for the old lady's lost love all over Verona yada yada and then spark flew between Sophie and the dude... and it all ended rather predictably.

Final verdict, a really predictable storyline. But but but... I will recommend it for the expressive eyes of Amanda Seyfried (the girl in Mamma Mia), the rather cute looking grandson (he looked scrawny at first, but his looks do grow on you) and the beautiful beautiful city of Verona. I am going to put that place into my list of places to go.

Next up was 'Crossing Hennesy', a Hong Kong movie starring Jacky Cheung and Tang Wei (the girl in Lust Caution). Do not expect a straight forward contemporary love story. The relationship between the two leads grew subtlely and is criss-crossed with matters happening to people around them. It's as much a story about love as it is about family, past relationships and growing up (for a forty-one year old man). Truth be told, it was rather boring. I guess I was expecting a tear jerker like 'Echoes of the Rainbow' and was let down.

Lastly, we went for 'Shrek Forever After'. The first Shrek was pure genius. The second, fine, how bad could it be since the first one's that good. The third, pass. The only reason I watched the fourth was because it's the last one in the series, and it could be a good closure. Surprisingly, it was a really fun watch. I did not expect it to reach the heights of genius like the first, it did not, but it was a good and hilarious watch if you would just lie back and chill. I couldn't get over how stupid Shrek was for signing the deal with Rumplestiltskin though. It's just him being a complete fool to bring down so much trouble upon himself.

To end the day perfectly, I got myself two romance paperbacks from MPH. I've devoured the first one in a day and am halfway through the second one. It might seem as though I am very free but the truth is, I'm still slacking. Once the exhibition presentation was over, the fire in me simply extinguished.

Tomorrow. I'll start tomorrow. (hah... the curse of a procrastinator.)

*edit: Shiau Fong and Tingting joined for the last two movies. Tingting slept during Crossing Henessy while Shiau Fong... erm... while Shiau Fong refuse to eat the popcorn I intended to share with her. (additional edit required by Tingting =D)

SENSE

2010-05-24T13:21:00.003+08:00

We had our mock exhibition design presentation last Friday. I've actually uploaded all these images since last week, but it sure did take me long to actually blog about it. It took us about from.. erm.. lazy to count, but the point is, many weeks to finish this project. This project has been postponed because half the class went to London. That's why it felt like it has been dragged on and on and on with no end. Halfway through this mess, I actually felt dejected and sick over doing the same thing... or rather, procrastinating over the same thing. Most of the design actually only came into fruition the last two weeks prior to presentation. I guess we did everything we could to make this a success, but there are things we could have done better.

This time around, I get to work with the usuals, 41 and Stella. Since we cannot just have three in a group, the lect gave us another two guys to make up our group. I really really like the group combination this time around. Yes, I've worked before in a group with 41 and Stella, but I'd like to think our own experiences during the internship has given each of us a maturity when it comes to our own work. I like how for the first time in a group project, we can each voice out our doubts over the design. It's a great atmosphere to work under where when a person said maybe your design is not what we have in mind, I can either defend my work and hammer sense into their heads or when they are the ones to make sense, conceit and change. With them, I sometimes have qualms and was nervous about showing them my work. As much as maybe sometimes they'll like it, there's always gonna be "...but..." It's all good and fair. This way, we grow as a group and it was an awesome feeling.

Everyone is in charged of something. 41 was the one who determined our design style for her main poster was the one that got approved. From here, she proceeded to design most of the CIS items. Stella was more involved with the packaging design and she herself got her turn in the CIS design when 41 was too weight down by work and had to have her work given out. I myself first designed the masthead and dealt with most of the copy in our work. There's nothing that turned me off more than a good design with grammatical errors. Not even comic sans. Hah! Anyhow, I got my own spin of the CIS items when Stella herself needed to focus on Flash and passed them on to me. It seemed as though no one wanted to do those blasted postcards. It's so cool, knowing everyone have their own part to play and we can rest assured that they will do it well.

I think I log heads most often with 41. She doesn't make sense sometimes and love to make the type as small as possible. Down to 6 points! She thinks I'm too stubborn (I think she thought so, she never said a thing) and love making my type too big, up to 16 points. Dank, it's a poster for goodness sake! There was this one time when we had an argument on a line extension of the masthead. She thought the line should extend directly from the N so that it shows connectivity. I thought there should be a space around the masthead and the line can extend up to a point beyond that space, so that the masthead is not touched for it's sacred. We tossed a point supporting our own stand one at a time at each other, then reiterated the point when it seemed like each other's not getting it. All this time, Stella was wandering about fanning herself due to the hot weather.

We then settled the case not by winning the argument/discussion, but by tossing a coin. The genius Stella suggested it. 41 chose tails. Heads, I won. Not that it was a satisfying win or anything. (you might be thinking, it's just a line! it's not! it's... it's.. it's... A line. not JUST.)

The presentation went very well. A few burps here and there, but I think we did good. The most satisfying part of the day was Ken Goh commenting, "It was a very good presentation." And when we went up to him as a group by the end of it all, he said, "Good job." And heck, it was a tough order getting that compliment from him. I was buoyed by his compliment for a long time. I think that was also the reason I could do four rounds of Batu Caves steps the next day. Hah!

Our masthead for the exhibition. It's an exhibition of perfume-inspired art.

These are main posters that 41 did.

The teaser poster that I am very proud of. Haha... a line. =D

Test card design that Stella did.

Ooo... lo and behold, the layout design I did in Photoshop! It's not up to par with those one can do with a 3D software, but I am damn proud of my first attempt at it. No fancy software, just a good sense of perspective, space and light. (at least i like to think so. must remain humble... be humble.... so is it good or what? =D)

That's all for this long post. There are tonnes of group work this semester. I might complain and whine and all, but I am really pleased with the work we did as a group this time. Yea~!

Denis Ng

2010-05-24T00:41:00.003+08:00

OMG. I think I'm in love. I do fervently hope he's not gay though. Love love love his voice. It gives me goosebumps.

So Long! Farewell!

2010-05-24T00:19:00.003+08:00

Someone silly and somewhat smart will be taking her first step into the working world come Monday (which is today!).

The fact that you're moving on into a new phase in life scares me. Time is moving so fast. You're really gonna leave life as a student and be a real adult now. All the best Hooi Fong! People might not understand nor get your decisions, but you know what? Screw them.

I know you know what you're doing. Let's just hope for the best. I only wish you'll know when to seize opportunities that arise and never let fear hold you back.

You once said this which made me really honoured to be your friend: "It's friends like you guys that made me who I am. It's because you guys believe in me, believe that I can do it, that I could." Well, along these lines la. You might not remember ever saying this, but I don't care, it's still one of the most memorable things you've said to us.

And it hasn't changed. I still believe in you. WE still do. *nudge someone skinny and nerdy to agree with me, you know who you are*

Skip along now. Have fun! I'll catch up soon. =)

Happy Me

2010-05-23T20:56:00.002+08:00

I was riding on a high.

I was confident, eloquent, smiling and jesting.

Words just came, sounding smart and witty.

Standing up there, looking down, I felt really good.

I conquered my fear, doing better than I would have expected.

I was riding on a high, and I am still buoyed by the rush.

I haven't felt like this in a long time. Allow me a moment of self-indulgence.

Reality keep in bay, you may come back when the wave wash away.

How often do you allow yourself to feel good about, well, yourself? Don't begrudge. Just know you did good.

Charming Buble

2010-05-19T00:52:00.001+08:00

It felt as if Christmas came wayyy too early. I'd bet this is gonna put a smile on your face, how could it not?

Good night, and good day~ =)

In 24 Hours

2010-05-18T21:08:00.002+08:00

Five layout designs. Due in 24 hours.

One marketing creative brief and advertisement. Due in 20 hours.

I love the thrill of procrastination.

I dread loving the thrill of procrastination for it deterred me from carrying out some other plans due to a lack of time.

This image is part of my layout rendering thing in Photoshop (can't use other 3D software, don't know how to). I'm having fun tinkering.

Count down begins now. I think I'll have a nap first. =D

Mine

2010-05-11T21:31:00.002+08:00

Mine.

The Reasons I Got Broke

2010-05-10T22:19:00.004+08:00

Weee~ content in this post should have span several posts for these things happened through several months (from March to May, to be exact). I guess the lazy bug caught, and I just never got around to posting them. O well, let me finish in one shot tonight then!

Back in March, I think, Rui came for a visit! This was her last visit to me as a student. The next time she comes, she'll be a legit working adult! (I bet if you're reading this, Rui, your face will be scrunched up in denial) Ever since I've finished my internship, I've always wanted my friends to pay me a visit. This time around, not only do I have a car to ferry them anywhere, I also know some really good places for good food and I actually know the way there!

There was this one time I went hiking to Broga hill with some of my classmates. Once I saw the view up there, I knew this place is a keeper! That's why when Rui said she was coming, I warn her in advance to bring sneakers along, coz we'll be going hiking!

This is us. Smelly and stinky up on Broga. We even recorded a stupid video for Hooi Fong. Hah... not to be posted in public.

On her last day here, we didn't actually have any plans. This was when David buzzed and asked if I'll be interested in seeing him compete in a culinary competition. Have you ever seen one such competition live? I didn't know what to expect, surely nothing as glorious as those shown on food channels. We went to the new Taylor Lakeside campus and saw for ourselves how aspiring chefs compete against one another. We were even allowed into the kitchen so long as we don't disturb the contestants.

While David was busy with cooking (that's him in black), we were busy taking pictures of ourselves. The whole thing was pretty cool, with him winning the title of 'Potato King' in the end (the sponsor's some potato product)! It's not easy for him to be there in Taylors to pursue his dream as a chef. Therefore, for him to achieve his first success in this field, I was feeling proud and happy for him too!

We have a bunch of Georgians in KL. Whenever we're back in Penang and meet for a gathering, we'll gush all over about how long we haven't seen one another and asked enthusiastically where each other is currently situated, and the mutual answer will be KL. It's so silly how everyone's here but nobody ever really made the effort for a meet-up. So there's this one time when Kar Yee, Shan Yin and I arranged something on Facebook. We invited a whole bunch of people, but in the end, only six of us turned up. For a first time, I would say it's a good number! It's small enough for us to gossip among ourselves, and big enough for us to see people we haven't seen ever since Form Five (hi Melissa!).

This meeting was awesome for it broke the ice for us, Georgians in KL. Now we don't hesitate in calling each other out to chill. Well, I do hope there'll be more such meetings in the future. (Sunway Lagoon!!)

Remember that Lamborghini design I posted back some months ago? The result was out sometime last month. I won honorary mention! Will be cashing in my RM500 soon, but it'll be o-so-cool if I were to win the grand prize. I SO totally know what I'm gonna do with 5k! But RM500 is still good, though I think I've spent it all on stupid things (yes, you read right, I've spent all the money I've yet to receive. I'll be a champion when I actually own a credit card).

Me and my classmates who made it to the top ten. Yay BPD7~!

Thank you Kar Yee for these passes to the Cleo's Bachelor Night. It was my first time to such an event and it was great spending the night with these girls going oooo-gaga over some of those reallllyyy hot guys on stage. Yoke Mun, #2 that looked like some Korean dude with the hot British accent. Shze Li and I totally agree #44's the best looking of them all. Awesome body, gorgeous looks. Too bad he didn't win.

We managed to get a picture with the winner. We were outside, and he was just sitting there waiting for an interview. He was already on the magazine cover prior to this night, so I guess he was the favourite to win? He looked so different from the cover! The magic of photo manipulation! He still looked good near, but not as smooth and air brushed as he seemed on the cover.

Tres came down for the weekend so that we can go together to KL Design Week. I went last year with 41 to one of the design conferences, it was awesome to see some of the biggest names in the industry speaking. The conferences this time around was not as tempting coz I didn't exactly recognize the names. Maybe I should just read up more.

Anyway, since she will only be here for the weekend, that means we'll only have the whole of Saturday to ourselves. With limited time, we managed to visit Capsquare and the National Art Gallery. Capsquare was where they display student artworks and where designers go about selling their works. It was a colourful and varied display of things. However, it was most probably due to it being the first day that we were there, many of the stalls were not really ready and no one bothered to explain to us what any of the things were about. I was expecting interaction with the designers or maybe just a more friendly reception. We went away pretty disappointed. But, like I said, maybe it's due to it being first day.

We then made our way to the National Art Gallery where the Japanese designs will be exhibited. The place was a total bore and a waste of time. The illustration exhibition was basically just works printed on A4 paper, mounted on the wall with the illustrator's name stick below the artwork. There was nothing else. I might as well just get myself an IDN. At least I get to read interviews with designers and know what the whole process behind the work was. Too bad for Tres, she came all the way from Penang just to be totally flabbergasted by the poor exhibition.

But what she lost in the exhibition, we made it up in conversations and just hanging around with David. After a whole day of running around KL to see the exhibitions, we ended the day by going for Iron Man 2 in Midvalley. It was always great entertainment seeing that two poking fun at one another. We were there pretty late for midnight show, most of the shows were sold out. We waited an hour just for the uncollected reserved seats to be opened for selling. There we were, at the counter, with the time exactly on the dot and those seats were opened. Excitedly, we pointed our fingers to three really good seats, still unsold. The dude hesitated, saying he couldn't sell them until his manager nod his head. We were flustered, demanded an explanation since the reserved seats are already open. He seemed to be put in a tight spot until the manager said to all of them at the counter that they can sell the seats already. The moment our tickets were printed, we were laughing at the craziness of the situation. It was fun and silly at the same time to be so excited over buying great seats for a sold out blockbuster, midnight show summore!

It was always fun and spontaneity with these two. We reached my place at about 3a.m. We then woke up at six, picked up David from his place at about 7a.m. just to eat dimsum. It was fun for Tres and I coz after eating we get to go back and sleep. The poor guy had to go back to work all day on his feet. This was one of the best time spent with her. In a way, I guess I got to know this lil cousin sis of mine more.

Since the bunch of them were away in London, 41 and I were spending the days away as if we were still having breaks. One day, we decided to treat ourselves to good Japanese food and good movies back-to-back. We decided on Echoes of the Rainbow and Ip Man 2. I wanted to watch the former coz there's Sandra Ng and it has won many awards. However, being skeptical about award-winning shows, they all tend to be artsy and slow in pace, we decided to watch it before Ip Man 2. We were pretty sure Ip Man is gonna be the better movie thus if we were to watch Echoes of the Rainbow later, we'll be bored.

Oh my God. How wrong we were. We stayed until we were the last two in the cinema after Echoes of the Rainbow ended. The sleeves of my cardigan were wet with tears. Our eyes were too red and puffy from crying watching the show! I haven't cried so much watching a movie since Taegukgi in Form 5. The movie's really simple and nostalgic. It's not tragic or anything, just really touching and sad. Do yourself a favour and go watch this if it's still showing. It's really really good.

Ip Man 2 on the other hand was kinda disappointing. Maybe I was expecting too much? True, his kung fu moves still awe me. Even better than part one, I think. But this time around, the plot's a little too cliche. Even the villain's generic and without depth, unlike the Japanese general from part one.

Lastly, Eve's exam ended, she's now practically a graduate, so we went for a celebratory shopping spree and posh dinner. We went to Sungai Wang and Time Square to shop like lunatics. Thanks to her, I'm kinda broke for the remaining of the month. Thanks to her, I've bought some things I'm sure I'll never wear but would love just an occasion to show them off.

The dinner was also to celebrate her birthday. This girl has something against people celebrating her birthday out of obligation, so she didn't tell those people she worked with. I understand that, coz I sorta have the same perception too.

So there we were, tired and totally satisfied with our purchases, quickly made our way to Alexis in Ampang. We even dressed up prettily for the occasion too. I specifically chose there coz I wanted her to try the tiramisu, which was awesome. Plus, they have a live band performance which I thought we could enjoy while talking. In the end, the cakes were really good, but the live band was kinda too loud to warrant any proper conversations. So we made our way out barely fifteen minutes into the performance.

We ended up driving around anywhere and everywhere just talking random things in the car. This was really basically what made a good night out. Not great food, not posh restaurants, not live bands. It was a great company, quiet night outside and good music playing on the radio.

I do look forward to when Eve moves to KL sometime in June. I can already imagine the expensive things we're gonna get ourselves into. *evil laughter echoed off into the distance*

And I'm ending this incredibly long post with a picture of me and my brother. Just because we rarely have a picture together and this is one that turned out kinda nice.

My Mom

2010-05-10T09:32:00.003+08:00

It was Mother's Day yesterday, 9 May. Coincidentally, Mom got back from Europe on the same day. That's why I went over to KLIA to meet her on her transit to Penang. I haven't seen her for about a month, and we were together there in KLIA for about three hours. It'll be another month before I'll see her again back home. By then, I'll be welcoming my new niece to the family!

What have you done yesterday to show your appreciation for your mother? A lot of people I know are shy or rather, felt awkward, in professing their appreciation and love either verbally or physically. When they were asked when was the last time they hugged their mom, they'll give me this bug-eyed look, as if the thought was never to be contemplated. I understand why they felt that way. I figured as we all grew up, hugging and kissing our own mother seemed like such an embarrassing thing to do. I guarantee that if anyone were to show these affections to their moms out of the blue, their moms' reaction will be also another bug-eyed look, saying 'What happened to you?' or 'What do you want?'. However, I can also guarantee that beneath all these outward appearance of confusion, these moms are also feeling warm and secretly happy.

My mom's the most important figure in my life. She's the source of all my material needs, giving me all the things I want if she could afford them. Of all the things my mother has given me, the one I treasure the most is her trust in me. With this trust, I am allowed to come pursue my studies in LUCT and to shape my own life away from her. She has never understood what is it that I am doing right now. She will never understand how I am going to make a living with graphic design. Despite these, she still let me.

For my batch of friends, most of them are graduating soon, in the coming month or so. So many have told me of their plans to pursue a career or a masters overseas. Some of them are free to go, without obligations and a care in the world, and some are tied down by family responsibilities no matter how much they want to fly. I am lucky enough to belong in the former group because of my mom. I believe no matter how far I want to take my dreams, I'll still have to be deeply rooted in my home. Just like a great big tree with long branches that stretch out into the skies, it'll have to have big roots that dig deep into the earth that'll give it the support and nourishment to grow. For me, my family is my root. It is only with my mom's permission and trust that I can reach far away into the skies.

Before this I've been taking it for granted that I am my own person, free to do anything and go anywhere on my own. Little did I realise I am only allowed these liberations because of my mom.

ps: I've just received this sms from my mom: "First time in my life I am late for work coz I overslept." LOL!!

pps: As much as I love my mom, I cannot stand her knowing about this blog and reading all about my thoughts. Random strangers I don't know can read about my innermost thoughts. But not my mom. Hah. Go figure.

Yesterday also marked the fifth anniversary of the saddest day in my life. I love you too, Loutao. =)

Anita Mui's Farewell Concert 2003

2010-05-08T23:52:00.004+08:00

I have no idea why but I suddenly had this urge to look for Anita's last concert performance, where she wore a wedding dress. I've never watched this so this was my first time actually hearing what she said during this last performance. It made me think how quickly we assume how our future will be and take for granted that we have all the time in the world.

While watching this video of the duet with Jacky Cheung, tears flowed when I was following the lyrics. No idea why I'm being so sentimental. Cari pasal watch something that made myself cry.

Oooo~ and then I saw that Eason Chan was a guest at the concert too! I figured he was kinda new then? But Anita mentioned that he has a great voice which he must know how to put into good use. Given time, we will see what a great singer he will become. How right she was.

Her last song. What was it like for her fans to be there, listening to this last song, knowing, it's their idol's last song, ever?

Does the value of your work define you?

2010-05-03T10:55:00.003+08:00

Hello, pencilstories blog readers, are you blog hopping? Are you escaping from assignments/revisions by browsing Facebook or poking your nose into the lifes people showcase on their blogs? Well, you've come to the right place!

Pleaseeeee........... help me fill in a questionnaire. Click here. Tell me, does the value of your work define you? Just less than five minutes of your time. More, if you're in the mood to share your thoughts.

Please and thank you!!!